Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In few countries elderly people specifically, over the age of fifty found it very challanging to get jobs despite of having profound experience of their relative field.This involves many significant factors contributing to this problem.The reasons could be explored and managed accordingly to minimize the suffering of senior citizens facing this specific problem.

There are several determinants that could contribute significantly.Social stigma related to the old age problems is one of the biggest causes of unemployment related old age.The owners of the majority of the organizations strongly believe to hire the employs who are young and more energetic.They consider them to perform more quickly and efficiently as compare to elders more than fifty years. Some thought that they are impatient or rigid to their priorities.This factors could be personal or social.For instance ,if we talk about the individual causes, they may involve the personal experience of the head of department that health issues arises mostly after fifty years of age, especially chronic diseases, which emphasize the notion to not offer jobs to them dispite of their wide experience. Adding into it, society plays a significant role by discouraging the to providing new opportunities in this age.

Finding solution of this issue, Government can encourage different organizations either public or private to fix some emplyments for such persons with flexible schedule and setting some acceptable criteria of selection in terms of physical and mental fitness. They can also be provided with the facilities to start their own bussiness on small scale. For example, financial add could be provide without intrest on acceptable instalments.

In conclusion, although people with advance age have less opportunities to earn their livehood because of several reasons and herdles they face,there are different ways to overcome this issue by considering it a shared responsibility to engage theis older population in some respectable and profitable way of earning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the question: it identifies employer preferences and age-related assumptions as causes, then proposes government incentives, flexible schedules and small-business support. These ideas are relevant, and the example of interest-free financial assistance gives one measure some practical detail. However, the causes are not always clearly distinguished or fully explained: the discussion of employers’ beliefs about energy, health and rigidity overlaps, while the point about society discouraging opportunities is left vague. The solutions also need clearer links to the causes and more explanation of how they would improve access to good jobs. A more explicit position and fuller development of each main idea would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure, moving from an introduction to causes, solutions and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps the reader identify these stages, and phrases such as “For instance” and “In conclusion” signal examples and closure. However, progression within the body paragraphs is sometimes uneven. The causes paragraph shifts from employers’ preferences to personal health assumptions and then to society without clearly showing how these points relate. Some linking is also mechanical, as in “Adding into it,” and references such as “This factors” are unclear. Organise each paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on. Clearer transitions between the causes and proposed measures would strengthen the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response attempts a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “social stigma,” “chronic diseases,” “flexible schedule,” and “criteria of selection.” These choices show an effort to discuss the issue beyond basic terms. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less clear. Examples include “employs” for employees, “employments” for jobs, “financial add” for financial aid, and “earn their livehood” for earn a livelihood. Phrases such as “old age problems” and “acceptable criteria” are also imprecise in context. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling carefully; a smaller set of well-controlled expressions will communicate your ideas more effectively than ambitious but unclear wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts to use complex structures, including relative clauses and conditional phrasing, as in “the personal experience of the head of department that health issues arises mostly after fifty years of age.” The response also uses some simple sentences to present its main points. However, control is inconsistent: errors in agreement, articles, sentence construction and punctuation occur often enough to make parts difficult to follow. For example, “This factors could be personal” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “the notion to not offer jobs to them” is awkwardly constructed. Several sentences run together without appropriate spacing or punctuation. Practise building accurate sentences first, especially when adding explanations with “because,” “which” or “that,” and check agreement and sentence boundaries during revision.

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