Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In certain countries, getting good jobs for the people who are aged over 50 can be very difficult. This essay will discuss main causes of this problem such as, most companies prefer younger employees rather than older ones, and solution which i suggested is promoting advantages of hiring older employees to employers.

One major reason why it can be difficult for older people to get good jobs is that empoyers tend to hire younger workers because they prioritise consistent workers who can work for many years for this company and most employers believe that younger people have more potential than older ones. For example, many Mongolian big corparations have a rule about hiring only under 30 years old people.

The main way to address this issue is promoting benefits of older empoyees due to the fact that there are many skills that older people have but younger people do not have, such as people over the age of 50 may spend more time for working thus, they are likely to be more experienced. For intance, in Switzerland, there is mobile app which encoures older people to find job by giving them chance to promote themselves.

In conclusion, difficulty of getting good job for older people is largely driven by companies' preference of younger employers than older employers, and promoting older employers' benefits could help reduce this problem.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both parts of the question by identifying employers’ preference for younger workers as a cause and suggesting that the benefits of older employees should be promoted. The examples about Mongolian companies and a Swiss job app make the response relevant, but the ideas are only partly developed: the essay does not explain why employers’ assumptions persist or how the app would change hiring practices. The proposed measure is also quite narrow, with no discussion of other possible actions such as age-discrimination rules or retraining. The response is 23 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and support your points. Develop each cause and measure with clearer reasoning and a specific explanation of its likely impact.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, one paragraph on the cause, one on a solution, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of argument easy to follow. You also use signposting such as “One major reason,” “The main way to address this issue,” and “In conclusion.” However, some links are mechanical, and the opening sentence of the introduction tries to preview several points in one long, awkward structure. Within paragraphs, the relationship between claims could be clearer; for example, the point that older people “may spend more time for working” does not clearly support the claim about their experience. Use more precise referencing and explain how each example supports the preceding idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “potential,” “experienced,” “promoting benefits,” and “preference,” so your meaning is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices, collocations, and spelling errors reduce precision. Examples include “consistent workers” for employees who stay with a company, “Mongolian big corporations,” and “promote themselves” when describing a job-search app. There are also repeated references to “older employers,” although the essay means older employees or workers. Check spelling carefully, and choose phrases that express the intended meaning directly. More precise terms such as “age discrimination,” “retention,” and “transferable skills” would help you explain the issue more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a relative clause in “skills that older people have.” These attempts show some range, but complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response less smooth. For example, “the solution which i suggested is promoting” has an awkward clause structure, while “there is mobile app” is missing an article. In “people over the age of 50 may spend more time for working,” the preposition pattern is incorrect. Capitalise “I,” and review articles, sentence boundaries, and clause construction. Aim for shorter, accurate sentences before combining ideas into longer structures.

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