Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Be a human being everybody wants a job.A perfect job is a dream for every person.But at the young age people can easily manage a job and plays a significant role in their jobs area.They can easily survive their lives to depends on their jobs.job market always try to offer a job to a young, energetic, capable, dedicated and qualified person.But on the other hand at the age of 50 no man or women can not manage a suitable or peaceful job.Because most of the company can not offer a older person.They think that this person can not play their role perfectly,they can not be eligible for the job.And they also think that the older person can not be energetic and capable.Thats why at the age of 50 people can not be able to manage a job cause any company can not hire them.But these older person have more experiences and knowledge in the job sector.just because of ageing they can not be eligible for any kind of job.But i think all company can be played a significant role for the older person,they can easily utilize the older persons experiences.Because their experience, knowledge can be helpful for the company .And i think government should be take some steps for the older persons so that any multinational company, corporate office can be utilize the power of older persons.for example,when a company hire a older person they get various types of experience and knowledge which can be beneficial for them.on the other hand people who are at the age of 50 he/she easily can be financially independent.when a person get financial backup at the age 50 , it's make their life more easier and comfortable.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both causes and possible measures, and your central view is that employers underestimate older workers while companies and governments should make better use of their experience. The explanation that employers assume people over 50 are not “energetic and capable” is relevant, as is the point that their knowledge can benefit a company. However, the causes are mostly presented as assumptions rather than explored, and the proposed measures remain general: “government should be take some steps” does not specify what action is needed. The financial-independence point is an outcome, not a clear solution. Develop each main idea with a specific measure, such as age-discrimination rules, retraining, or incentives to hire experienced workers, and explain how it would help.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows a broad sequence from the difficulty older people face to employers’ attitudes and then to possible benefits and action. Some linking expressions, including “But on the other hand,” “That’s why,” and “for example,” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the writing is presented as one continuous block, so the reader cannot easily distinguish the introduction, causes, and solutions. Connections are often repetitive or unclear, and several ideas run together in long sentences. For example, the shift from employers’ assumptions to older workers’ financial independence is abrupt. Use separate paragraphs for the problem, causes, and solutions, and make each paragraph develop one main point with clear references and purposeful transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “job market,” “qualified,” “experience,” “knowledge,” and “financially independent,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, especially “older person,” “job,” and “experience.” Some word choices and collocations are unnatural, such as “manage a suitable or peaceful job,” “play their role perfectly,” and “utilize the older persons experiences.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning less clear. Aim for more precise employment-related language and check how words combine naturally. For instance, describe older workers as “secure suitable employment” and say that employers can “draw on their expertise.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas using longer sentences and clauses, for example, “Because most of the company can not offer a older person,” and “when a company hire a older person they get various types of experience.” However, complex attempts are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries occur frequently. Examples include “people … plays,” “government should be take,” and “a older person.” Several sentences are joined with full stops missing or commas alone, which makes the argument harder to follow. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, article use, and verb patterns, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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