Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This view is becoming very common across all countries to difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, although they are eligible and have good experience. All organisation or company needs talented and well exeprience workers to grow business.

First and foremost, pepole have enough time to develope and improve their skills for getting high poisition job. However, they do not achieve the good job also they gathering good experince for better job inhancement. Some company or organisation have rules to announce the retirement after age of 55 due to their health problem and they live stress free life.

Also government employee are retire at age of 60 so they can't do the job into any government industry. In addition, age of 50 many employees becoming forget their work or important work due to their weaker brain. Also WHO also announce that people should care about their health after age of 50. In contrast, many organisation do not give chance to get good job after age of 50.

However, Some people have great experience in particulare field and they have enough knowlege about works. Thus, these type of people who easily eligible for higher job so company should get that employee for better enhancement.

In conclusion, who employee have good skills and experience although they face some disease or feel low immunity system so should not considerable for higher job after age of 50. In contrast, the employee have good skills and experience also they have not any disease or health problem. Thus, which employee consider for higher job because they will use their knowlege and experience for better improvement into company.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both causes and possible measures, and your position is that employers should consider experienced people for suitable higher-level roles. The points about retirement rules, health concerns and employers overlooking older applicants are relevant. However, the causes are not clearly explained or supported: for example, the claim that people over 50 forget work because of a “weaker brain” is broad and unsupported. The proposed solution is also limited to companies hiring experienced workers; you do not explain how governments or employers could change recruitment or retirement practices. The conclusion introduces health conditions as a reason not to consider some applicants, which makes your position less clear. Develop fewer ideas with specific explanations and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

Your response has an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “First and foremost,” “Also” and “In conclusion” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, the progression between ideas is often difficult to follow. The first body paragraph moves from skill development to retirement rules without explaining their connection, while the next combines government retirement, memory, health advice and employer decisions. Some linking expressions do not show a clear relationship: “In contrast” introduces an idea that does not clearly oppose the previous one. The conclusion also repeats earlier points rather than bringing them together. Organise each paragraph around one main cause or measure, then use clear references and links to show how each supporting point relates to it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to employment and experience, including “eligible,” “retirement,” “higher job” and “health problem,” so the topic is generally identifiable. There are also attempts at less common expressions such as “job enhancement” and “immunity system,” but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural and sometimes make the meaning unclear. Spelling errors such as “exeprience,” “pepole,” “develope” and “knowlege” are noticeable, and phrases such as “weaker brain” are imprecise and overly general. Build a more reliable range of collocations for recruitment and age discrimination, and check spelling and word forms. More precise wording would help you explain causes and solutions without relying on repeated references to “good job” and “experience.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “although,” “however” and “because.” This shows some effort to vary sentence structure, but control is inconsistent, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas hard to interpret. For example, “All organisation or company needs” has problems with number agreement, and “government employee are retire” uses an incorrect verb form. In “who employee have good skills,” the clause structure is also faulty. Articles, plurals and sentence boundaries need attention, as in “age of 50 many employees becoming forget their work.” Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check verb forms and agreement in every sentence, especially when the subject is plural.

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