Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Job and work crisis has become an important piece of discussion in the modern day life.It has all kind of impacts on the society.The following essay will discuss the both sides of this topic.

There are still alot of countries in the world today who made certain rules for the specific age groups of people.First of all,they are affecting in positive as well as in negative way.The people of age over 50 are somewhat highly experienced and acknowledged with the sort of work they had done.If the government hier such kind of employs,it would certainely be beneficial for them to look after them then to introduce new employers and holding a teaching staff for them.

But on the other side,the young generation are also suffering from job crisis even after the completion of requirements for them.The competition has reached to sky high.Some people are just holding their degrees with the zero experience in their relevant work fields while the others who knows the nature of their duty made mistakes during task.These problems have been risen due to the less opportunities and higher demand for even a single work post.The person of every age group wanted to become independent.So,that is the reason why such old people wanted to work for their survival.There are alot of people who are in great need of job to meet their home expenses but the new rules and regulations demands a high degree of precision in work.

Hence,some countries like to work with old experienced workers while other might think of there health and comfort.In the same way,some countries would like to recognize their youth with the advance skills,scientific research and wanted to give them the opportunities for representing themselves as superior while the others might consider them as inexperienced and failed people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response touches on the issue of older workers and mentions possible causes, including competition for jobs, limited opportunities and employers’ preference for younger people with advanced skills. However, it only minimally answers the question: the causes are not clearly explained as causes of difficulty for people over 50, and the essay does not set out practical measures to solve the problem. The discussion of young people’s job difficulties takes up substantial space without being linked clearly to the task. The final paragraph contrasts countries’ attitudes but does not establish a clear position or propose actions. To strengthen the response, organise it around specific causes—such as age discrimination or assumptions about health—and give concrete measures, for example fair recruitment rules, retraining, or incentives to retain experienced staff.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some paragraphing, and basic signposts such as “First of all,” “But on the other side,” and “Hence” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow: the opening promises a discussion of “both sides,” although the task asks for causes and solutions, and the body shifts between older workers, youth unemployment, and national preferences without clear links. The final paragraph introduces another comparison rather than concluding or answering the question. Some linking phrases are also used mechanically or do not express the intended relationship. Build a clearer sequence—introduction, causes, measures, conclusion—and use topic sentences and references that make each paragraph’s purpose explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response has enough basic vocabulary to communicate a general discussion of employment, using terms such as “competition,” “opportunities,” “experience,” and “independent.” It also attempts more specific expressions, including “job crisis” and “scientific research.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural choices make meaning less clear, such as “a piece of discussion,” “holding a teaching staff,” and “the competition has reached to sky high.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “alot,” “hier,” and “employs,” are noticeable. Aim for precise, natural collocations relevant to the question, such as “age discrimination,” “recruit older workers,” and “transfer expertise,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If the government…,” and clauses beginning with “while” and “who.” However, control is inconsistent, and frequent errors can make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “There are still alot of countries… who made certain rules,” where the verb form and clause structure are faulty, and “The person of every age group wanted,” where subject–verb agreement is incorrect. Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need attention: “in the modern day life.It” lacks a space and appropriate punctuation, while “the both sides” is incorrectly formed. Practise accurate basic sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking agreement, articles, verb forms, and punctuation in each sentence.

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