Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some countries , it is very hard for people over the age of 50 to have good jobs even tho they have such good experience. this essay will examine the main causes of this trend and suggest some effective solutions.

One major cause of this problem is contracts. Many companies wants the new generation conidadates , they could sign with them longer contracts also they are more motivated , productive , and generally intelligent even thos they have less experience than the oldest people. for example a company want to sign a condidate aged 25 and sign a 5 years contract with him where they can even improve his skills so he could fit well the post he is in. supporting it , the grown ups candidates are very likely to get sick and leave their job for a couple of days which causes the company a percentage of loss.

to tackle these causes , by the evolution of technology these days , companies should take these aged people in concern and make new posts for them, for example in an IT company , they take a part for the automation systems where they fix theses bugs. furthermore , many statitics shows that people above the 50 are more responsible than the new generation people , so they could really relly on and hey will make the job done before its deadline.

in conclusion , the diffuclity of finding a good job for these aged people is mainly caused by health issues , and the fast development of technology in all sectors , but it might be reduced if we do really put it in our concern and make it fair for them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both parts of the question by proposing causes and measures, and your position—that older applicants face barriers but could contribute in suitable roles—is apparent. However, the response only partially develops these points. The discussion of longer contracts and employers preferring younger candidates is relevant, but claims that younger people are “generally intelligent” and older workers are likely to be sick are broad and unsupported. The proposed measures, such as creating roles in automation, are also not clearly explained as solutions to age-based hiring barriers. Develop fewer ideas with specific reasoning or examples, and make the link between each cause and its remedy explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, one on solutions, and a conclusion. Basic signposting such as “One major cause,” “to tackle these causes,” and “in conclusion” helps readers follow the overall direction. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven, and some links between ideas are unclear. For example, the move from longer contracts to older workers’ sickness is abrupt, while “supporting it” does not clearly show how the next point supports the previous one. The conclusion introduces technology as a cause, although the body mainly discusses employers’ preferences and health. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example directly to the point it illustrates.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “contracts,” “productive,” “automation systems,” and “responsible,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems make parts of the response difficult to interpret. For instance, “take these aged people in concern” is not a natural way to express consideration, and “make the job done” is an inaccurate phrase. There are also repeated spelling errors such as “conidadates,” “statitics,” and “diffuclity.” Build a more precise set of phrases for employment and workplace policy, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “where they can even improve his skills” and a conditional idea about creating suitable roles. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries occur frequently. Examples include “Many companies wants,” “a company want,” and “many statitics shows”; the sentence beginning “for example a company” also runs on through several linked clauses. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including the lowercase start “this essay” and missing commas around introductory phrases. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and divide long sentences into clearer units before adding more complex structures.

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