Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that many older workers, especially those over 50, struggle to find suitable employment despite having extensive work experience. while some positive effect that they spend time with family. This issue has become increasingly important in todays society. This essay will discuss the causes and solutions before reaching a logical conclusion.

To begin with, one of the primary reasons is that many company and factories prefer young employee. This is because company often believe that younger generation have modern technical information and also they smothery learn every thing in short time. As a result, older workers experience was outdated. This can have a significant impact on both individuals and society as a whole. Furthermore, some older workers not familiar with new updated technology . For example, many office jobs required computer and new trends knowledge and have a good digitals communication skills. Therefore, company not prefer work with old generations.

On the other hand, provide Training Programs should also be taken into consideration. The main reason is that governments and employers should offer regular skill development courses.. From a long-term perspective, this may influence future generations and overall social development. For instance, free computer and technology courses can increase their employment opportunities. However, Introduce Anti-Discrimination Policies. Consequently, employers should recruit candidates based on their skills and experience rather than their age.. Overall, companies that follow equal employment policies can benefit from the knowledge and reliability of experienced workers..

In conclusion, although both perspectives have valid points, I firmly believe that governments should take this steps. because it is beneficial for older people. Taking everything into account, adopting a balanced and practical approach is the most effective way to achieve positive outcomes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt (causes and solutions). However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the discussion on why companies prefer younger workers is clear, but the explanation of 'modern technical information' is a bit repetitive. The solutions provided, such as training programs and anti-discrimination policies, are relevant but lack detailed elaboration or concrete examples of how these would be implemented effectively. The position is clear, but the essay would benefit from more depth in the supporting arguments to reach a higher band. The introduction is slightly disjointed, with a sentence about family time that does not connect to the main topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the phrase 'However, Introduce Anti-Discrimination Policies' is grammatically incorrect and disrupts the flow. There are also issues with referencing; the transition between the causes and the solutions is abrupt. While the essay has a logical progression, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the occasional awkward phrasing make the cohesion feel somewhat forced rather than natural. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs needs better integration of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'smothery learn' (likely meaning 'quickly' or 'smoothly') and 'digitals communication skills'. The repetition of basic terms like 'company' and 'workers' limits the lexical variety. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of collocation and the use of simplistic phrasing prevent the essay from demonstrating a wider range of vocabulary. To improve, you should focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to employment and technology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many company and factories prefer', 'company not prefer'), missing articles, and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'many office jobs required'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentences ending abruptly or containing unnecessary spaces. While the meaning is usually understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar indicates that you need to focus on proofreading and mastering fundamental sentence construction before attempting more complex structures.

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