Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In current situation, some countries facing difficult to get good jobs especially for the people who turn over the age of 50 whether they were experienced. Most of the companies are expecting to hire the young people to do the work faster and smarter but the companies were believed over age people works are slow and companies want to pay high because of their experience.

In the companies point of view, they do not want to pay high salary to slow working people basically for over 50 years. Majority of the people are trying to get a new job for good salary that help them to buy their basic need to survive. If it goes wide, people face a poverty after the age of 50. Some countries government are helping the retired people for giving some financial amount in their retirement fund every month. It could help people to run their life by using their retirement fund.

Secondly, to solve these kinds of problems government take some initial steps for unemployment over the age of 50. For example, government can collaborate with Small and Mid-level private sector to help to hire the age of 50. Because Mid-level companies have a separate section to over 50 aged people like packing the products, checking the goods and accounting works. For example, textile sectors have a separate section of packing for elderly people and company will give a good salary based on the work also get incentives.

In the conclusion, the government wants to take some action to initiate getting jobs for elderly people and should have retirement fund in their salary percentage.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The causes are identified as ageism and salary expectations, but the explanation is repetitive. The solutions are also somewhat narrow, focusing primarily on government intervention in specific sectors. While the position is clear, the arguments lack depth and specific evidence, relying on generalisations. To improve, you should expand on your points with more detailed examples or logical reasoning to fully develop your arguments, ensuring that the connection between the cause and the proposed solution is more robust.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, 'In current situation' and 'In the companies point of view' are awkward transitions. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly between the second and third paragraphs. While there is an attempt to use linking words like 'Secondly' and 'For example', the overall flow is hindered by repetitive sentence structures and a lack of sophisticated referencing. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms such as 'good jobs', 'young people', and 'slow working people'. There are also instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'people face a poverty' and 'run their life'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of collocations and more academic vocabulary limits the score. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to employment and social issues, and try to use more precise synonyms to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'companies were believed'), article usage (e.g., 'the age of 50'), and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'government take some initial steps'). While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly verb tenses and the correct use of prepositions, before attempting more complex structures.

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