Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In some countries, it can be difficult for people aged 50 years and above to get good jobs despite their experiences. Examining the causes of this problems and possible measures that can be taken to solve it provides a clearer understanding of the matter.

One major cause of this is high salary expectations. In most cases an experienced person demands for a higher salary as compared those with less experience. On the other hand, companies aim at maximizing their profit. Therefore it is a balance between hiring the experienced and considering more pay or link it to productivity and results rather than years of exposure. For example if an individual who has been earning 1000$ looks for another job, he or she must consider earning more than the initial figure. As a result, employing people with 50 years and above with experience means a higher salary expectation.

Nevertheless, it would be unrealistic to overlook the fact that experience alone cannot be a factor to determine a higher salary expectation. It can be linked to productivity and results rather than years of mastery. As a result companies will only pay for the service of an individual and if possible Provide part-time or contract positions – This reduces labor costs while allowing companies to benefit from experienced workers.

In conclusion, although employing people over the age of 50 can mean a higher a higher salary expectation, companies can consider hiring them on part-time or contract positions so as to only pay for the productivity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you identify salary expectations as a cause, the explanation is repetitive and lacks depth regarding other potential factors like ageism or technological shifts. The proposed solution of part-time work is relevant but could be expanded with more detail on how this benefits both parties. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with specific examples or logical reasoning rather than restating the same concept in different words.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'One major cause', 'On the other hand', and 'Nevertheless'. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. For instance, the jump from discussing salary to suggesting part-time work could be smoother. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the body paragraphs needs more careful management to ensure that each sentence builds clearly upon the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'labor costs', 'productivity', and 'mastery'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of repetition, such as the phrase 'higher salary expectation' appearing multiple times. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms and collocations related to employment and economics. There are also minor errors, such as 'a higher a higher' in the conclusion, which slightly detracts from the overall precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'demands for a higher salary as compared those' (missing 'to') and 'employing people with 50 years and above' (should be 'aged 50 and above'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of hyphens and capitalization. To achieve a higher band, focus on increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences and proofreading for small grammatical inaccuracies that currently occur throughout the text.

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