Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In some regions of world, people in their 50's face too much hardship for getting worthy jobs even though they have a lot of experience. This essay is going to discuss the reasons why this happen and what could be the strategies to cope with it.

Firstly, the age itself is a crucial factor. The elderly persons are more prone to fatigue as compared to youth. Companies preferred young group of people because they are energetic and can handle the load of the projects. Even though if they are going through some minor health issues they can manage where as this is opposite in case of senior citizens. Secondly, these days world are introducing with new mordern technologies and agencies priorties these because these are handy. Young generation is adapt to this kind of technology but some of the old people are technopobics. They can not make theirselves comfortable to this kind of environment in short period of time. Moreover, they are not passionate as compared to those boys and girls that are in their 20's or 30's.

To begin, there are some measures that can be taken by taking old people into consideration. First of all if the fatigue is the problem we can give them those tasks that are not hectic and requried an experienced person. Secondly, in the beginning we can hire them as interns so in the meanwhile they can learn how to operate new websites or technologies.

In conclusion, if the age, fear of new technology is the problem we can over come these difficulties by giving them environment that work for both authorities and the old ones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument that older people are 'technophobic' is a generalization that lacks nuance. The solutions provided, such as hiring older workers as interns, are relevant but could be expanded with more concrete examples or logical depth. The position is clear, but the overall response would benefit from more sophisticated reasoning and a more balanced exploration of the complexities involved in age-related employment barriers.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. There is a logical progression from causes to solutions. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'To begin', 'In conclusion'). Some transitions between sentences are slightly abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the connection between the identified problems and the proposed solutions could be more tightly linked to improve the flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'too much hardship for getting worthy jobs', 'agencies priorties these', and 'technopobics'. Spelling errors like 'mordern', 'priorties', and 'requried' also occur. While the meaning is clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and the student struggles with accurate collocations, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher level of lexical sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'why this happen' (should be 'happens'), 'these days world are introducing' (should be 'the world is being introduced to'), and 'they can not make theirselves comfortable' (should be 'themselves'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with apostrophes and commas. While the errors do not completely obscure the meaning, they are frequent enough to suggest a lack of control over more complex grammatical forms.

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