Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.
What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
A recent concern has been raised that some countries have strict age rules while hiring employees. senior citizens nearly the age of 50 are having problem finding jobs, despite their experience. the paragraph below will discuss the reasons and solution for this problem.
to begin with, are the the root causes that restricts firms and companies from hiring elderly people. one of them is higher salary expectations. job applicant's equipped with years of experience does expect high wage. secondly, with rapidly evolving technology staff with fairly good I.T skills are required and someone with zero knowledge of updates so waters is not good option. job seekers with long period unemployment as also non desirable.
The solutions that can aid mature adults get back into employment are as follows. they should be given relevant jobs that suits both their experience and age group like supervisor, advisor, general manager. furthermore, such individuals should polish their skills, learn to operate new technology and developed software's. they also should be keeping their resume updates. and remain open to contract jobs like part time jobs and consulting rolls which could lead to permanent position.
. health issues
higher salary for good experience
overqualification
advanced technology
long term unemployment
unable to do sedative work
reduces physical capacity
they shoudl be given relevatn work.
to givre them jobs as supervisor
managers
polish theit skills
learn relevant digital tools
tailor your resume
be open to contracts
use a professional network
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt—causes and solutions—but the development is insufficient. The inclusion of a list of bullet points at the end of the essay is inappropriate for an IELTS Task 2 response and suggests a lack of planning or time management. The essay fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which negatively impacts the overall task achievement. While the ideas provided (salary expectations, technological skills) are relevant, they are presented in a fragmented manner rather than being fully developed into coherent arguments with supporting evidence or examples. To improve, you must expand your points into full paragraphs and avoid including brainstorming notes in your final submission.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay lacks a clear structure. While there is an attempt to use transition signals like 'to begin with' and 'furthermore', the overall flow is disjointed. The paragraphing is weak, and the inclusion of a list of notes at the end disrupts the coherence of the text. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression of ideas is hindered by the brevity of the sentences and the lack of logical connection between the introduction and the body paragraphs. To improve, focus on using a clear introduction, two distinct body paragraphs, and a conclusion, ensuring that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by examples.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'someone with zero knowledge of updates so waters is not good option' and 'developed software's'. The use of 'sedative work' is likely a misuse of the word 'sedentary'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated vocabulary and the presence of errors in word formation limit the score. Focus on learning collocations and using more precise terminology related to the workplace and employment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('applicant's equipped... does expect'), article usage ('the paragraph below'), and punctuation (missing capital letters at the start of sentences). The sentence structures are relatively simple, and there is a lack of complex grammatical forms. The misuse of apostrophes in 'software's' and 'job applicant's' is a recurring error. To improve, work on basic sentence construction, ensure consistent capitalization, and practice using a wider variety of complex sentence structures, such as conditional sentences or relative clauses, while maintaining accuracy.
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