Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Most human resource experts prefer younger people when recruiting employees. In some countries, it can be very hard for people over age of 50 to get a decent job, regardless of their work experience. This essay will explain the possible reasons behind this problem and possible solutions.

People over the age 50 are considered too old to learn new skills, even if they have a good work experience. It is generally assumed that an older person cannot be as efficient as a young man. However, these believes are further strengthened by relatively higher burden of disease in older age groups. Generalization of all such believes and observations by the employers make them incline towards younger candidates when recruiting personnel for a job. For instance, an employer will be more interested in hiring a young man who seems more physically fit than an older man.

Secondly, employers believe that young people have more passion for growth. They are more ambitious and more prepared to work beyond expectations. They assume although older people are very experienced they may not not much enthusiatics about their career and may lack the passion for development. For example, a 50 year old man who has already achieved a certain position may not be too excited to workhard if we compare e th a young man in early years of his career. These differences make older people less desirable for the organizations which take commitment and dedication to work, too seriously.

There are various solutions to this issue. First of all a pre-employment assessment can help in assessing the medical and physical fitness of the person for a particular job. Secondly, if we provide work targets and keep the incentive conditional to target achievement and performance this will equally motivate older as well as younger employees. Regular feedbacks or appraisals can be another strategy to keep the employees motivated towards their work targets.

In conclusion, various negative assumptions related to employment of older workers can result in unemployment of a large number of people. Designing or adopting various human resource policies can help in controlling the potential issues related to recruitment of people of 50 or above.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as the perception of older workers' health and their perceived lack of passion. However, the development is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the second paragraph where the argument about 'passion' is restated multiple times. The solutions provided are practical, though they could be more deeply explored. The position is clear throughout, and the essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-supported point rather than circling back to similar ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the causes from the solutions. Cohesive devices are present (e.g., 'Most human resource experts', 'Secondly', 'For instance', 'In conclusion'), though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, although the flow within the second paragraph is slightly hindered by repetitive phrasing. Overall, the structure is easy to follow, and the relationship between ideas is consistently maintained throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'incentive' and 'appraisals', which are used correctly. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing or minor errors, such as 'these believes' (beliefs), 'not not much enthusiatics' (not very enthusiastic), and 'workhard'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the writing. A wider range of collocations and more accurate word forms would elevate the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('over age of 50'), subject-verb agreement issues ('these believes are'), and spelling errors ('enthusiatics'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some missing commas after introductory phrases. The errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the intended message. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring consistent use of articles and pluralization.

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