Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.
What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Most of the departments of this world are trying to hire young employees instead of aged people. According to my observation their main intensions to hire those employees who have a great energy to solve the problems and for work. Here I will explain the main causes of this problem.
Firstly , companies think that the people who are over fifty have an old knowledge and they are not much advanced to work for the reputation and the integrity of the company or department. Because these civillians are outdated. But we should encourage these employees because they have lifetime experiances to solve the problems. Although they are outdated but we should value their experiances.
Secondly , most of the departments think that they live their life and they don't have enough enough energy to work for them. But according to my observation we should hire such employees because most of the people who are round about in fifties who are good concious for their health should be hired for jobs because they have responsibilities so they can work properly for their survival.
In contrast some people are those who are not serious at all about their job so such people are burdun for the department . Such people shouldn't be hired.
Conclusively , although careless or iresposible employees are present but they are in very low number as compared to the responsible employees . So, we should support such people for the survival of the department and wellbeing the society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. However, the development is limited. The ideas regarding 'old knowledge' and 'lack of energy' are mentioned but not fully explored with specific examples or evidence, which is required for a higher band. The argument is somewhat repetitive, and the suggestion to solve the problem by simply 'supporting such people' lacks depth or practical measures. To improve, you should provide concrete examples, such as government subsidies for retraining or corporate mentorship programs, to demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'In contrast', 'Conclusively'). Some transitions are awkward, such as the abrupt shift in the third paragraph. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range expected at higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'departments of this world' instead of 'industries' or 'sectors', and 'round about in fifties' instead of 'in their fifties'. Spelling errors like 'intensions', 'experiances', 'civillians', and 'burdun' occur frequently. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to the workplace and proofread carefully to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'most of the people who are round about in fifties who are good concious for their health should be hired'. Punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with spacing before commas. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'wellbeing the society'). To improve, practice using a wider range of complex structures, such as conditional sentences or relative clauses, and focus on basic grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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