Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this contemporary era, the culprit of unemployment is raising day by day among people who are over 50 with in-depth knowledge .This issue experience by uncountable of territories.According to my perspectives, there are plenty of adequate reasons of this phenomenon and its possible preventions which can help to mitigate it.These aspects are exemplify in forthcoming paragraphs with accurate examples and the conclusion will be drawn at the end.

To commence with, the significant cause of this is that every companies or organisations wants to hire modern people who have broaden information of new trend with sharp memory to learn new things very quickly, however, this practice cannot be present in over 50 aged people.For an example, In USA, last year around 37000 younger local communities interviewed by companies which belongs to IT fields and approx 40000 over 50 aged masses obtained resignation notice from them as they have only experience about labour but do not have idea about new technology as like as youngsters.Moreover, ones indigenous are getting older their ability to recognise something or to do hard word are getting worst which is second dilemma of it.

On the solution side it, authority should organise certain NGO's or campaigns to spread the information about new patterns especially for older people.Owing to this, they will get opportunity to learn and apply jobs accordingly.As a consequently, it helps to reduce the ration of unemployment.For an instance,African government used same methods and render data towards elder people about new technology.Instead of new people African employers are preferring old staffs who are over 50 aged.Apart from this, by focusing on health of them and encourage them to do exercise as a result their dedication for work remain same.

In conclusion, due to the high-tech equipments and lake of strength this problem is escalating, but we can prevent this by providing knowledge and spread the value of exercise.Although it will take time, its result will be surprised.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the causes (technological shifts and age-related decline) are relevant, the supporting examples, such as the specific statistics about the USA, appear fabricated and lack logical grounding, which weakens the argument. The solutions are presented but remain somewhat superficial. To improve, you should focus on providing more realistic, well-reasoned arguments rather than relying on invented data. The position is clear, but the overall depth of analysis is limited, keeping this in the lower band range.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'As a consequently' and 'In conclusion, due to the high-tech equipments'. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and non-sequiturs. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences feels disjointed. To achieve a higher score, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one to create a smoother, more coherent argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'culprit of unemployment is raising', 'uncountable of territories', and 'lake of strength' (instead of 'lack'). The use of 'masses' and 'indigenous' is also contextually inappropriate. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the inaccuracies frequently impede the precision of your message. You need to focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct context to improve your lexical range and accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('every companies... wants'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence construction ('This issue experience by uncountable of territories'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after periods and commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar structures prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency.

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