Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.
What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
Man through the ages, I think it is a good suggestion to every kind of people.
when the people was old they have many expenses in our life such as they give the fees of childern school . And many other expenses such as building rent and car insurance and many these thing.
First of all, when the people age over fifty at this time it was a good experience in our field. I think this is the main reason to give many jobs in our field industry
It was a very difficult to the young people because they have no experience in our related field . This reason they not get many good jobs. Because they have no experience in our field. They are newley graduate the university. These people are fresher the market .
On the other hand the old people was a great experience in our life. He know that the market strategies. He knew very well how will market work. when the old people have retire at this time they have many good jobs such as accounts of the school department . Old people was focus on the market strategies and the young people was not focus on the market stratege . This is the main reason of the young people and old people . Old people have many experience in our related field . They get easily job in our forgien country. The forgien country hire only these people they have many year experience .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response addresses the prompt partially but fails to provide a clear, logical argument. While it mentions the difficulties faced by older workers, the ideas are repetitive and lack depth. The prompt asks for causes and solutions, but the essay focuses primarily on comparing young and old workers without offering concrete measures to solve the problem. The arguments are underdeveloped, and the response lacks a clear position or structure, making it difficult for the reader to follow the intended message. To improve, you should dedicate separate paragraphs to clearly defined causes and actionable solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay lacks a logical progression of ideas. Paragraphing is used, but the content within the paragraphs is disjointed and repetitive. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the repetitive use of 'First of all' and 'On the other hand' without a clear transition between contrasting points. The referencing is often unclear, as the pronoun 'he' is used inconsistently to refer to 'old people' (a plural noun). The overall structure is fragmented, which hinders the flow of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'good jobs', 'many', and 'experience'. There are also significant issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'forgien country' (foreign countries) and 'fresher the market' (fresh graduates). The lack of variety in vocabulary prevents the expression of more complex ideas. To achieve a higher band, you need to expand your range of vocabulary to include topic-specific terms related to employment, ageism, and economic factors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the people was old', 'old people was focus'), tense usage, and article usage. Sentence structures are simple and often incomplete or poorly constructed. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the errors are pervasive throughout the text, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning in several places. Focusing on basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement is essential for improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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