Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often believed by a few countries that there are very limited job opportunities for the people of age 50 or above irrespective of their experience. This essay will discuss various reasons and the solutions to overcome this problem.

The primary reason of this problem is health issue as older people have higher chances of facing health realted issues which unables them to perform physical activities that is required in a job such as heavy lifting or long standing. This may lead to more probability of getting injury. So, to perform such hard jobs, the employers profer selecting a young candidates that have high stamina to perform these jobs with more tsrength. For instance, an army officer or police, these occupations require high fittness. But, apart from these heavy jobs , there rae various other options that does not require more physical work can be choosed by this age group. For example, working in a library or a bank job.

To overcome this reason, the government have pension system, which enable older people to get money from the government that is deducted from their pay throughou their life. This money is given when they quit working. As a result, this money helps one to afford the basic needs like food, and shelter for rest of their lives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you identify a cause (health issues) and a solution (pension systems), the discussion is underdeveloped. You mention that older people could work in banks or libraries, but this point is not linked back to the main argument or explored in depth. Furthermore, the solution provided (pensions) does not actually address the problem of 'getting a job'; it describes a way to survive without one. To improve, you must expand your arguments with more detailed examples and ensure your solutions directly address the employment difficulty.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction and body paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is limited. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'For instance' and 'As a result', but they are sometimes used mechanically. The paragraphing is insufficient; the essay would benefit from a clearer separation between the causes and the solutions. Additionally, the transition between the discussion of physical jobs and the suggestion of alternative roles is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea would enhance the logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'realted', 'unables', 'profer', 'tsrength', 'rae', and 'throughou'. Additionally, some word choices are awkward, such as 'It is often believed by a few countries' (which does not make logical sense) and 'high fittness'. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on accurate spelling and using more sophisticated collocations related to the topic of employment and aging, rather than relying on basic descriptive terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the people of age 50', 'health realted issues which unables them', 'a young candidates', and 'options that does not require... can be choosed'. Subject-verb agreement and pluralization are consistent areas of weakness. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms is essential.

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