Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In a few countries, acquiring an occupation above the age of fifty years is considered to be a complex thing, regardless of one's experience and expertise. Numerous causes have been identified behind this issue, such as the society standard in their eyes: a fifty-year-old person is considered to be a unfit for any job, and lack of job opportunity is also a big issue for those individuals. This essay will discuss what possible solutions can be taken to curb this issue.

It is widely acknowledged by society that an individual over the age of fifty is not eligible for work; however, in reality, people of the middle age are more experienced and able to control complex situations. For instance, across the world it is a norm that the leader of a country, such as the prime minister or president, is usually above the age of fifty. who are running the adminitration of countries, and fewer illustrations can be found where people are younger than fifty possessing leadership qualities. Therefore, this norm should be altered through spreading awareness.

Building on this, although a person should not be deprived of any kind of occupation due to their age factor, many countries are still facing a shortage of jobs, and their administration pay more attention to giving jobs to youngsters than elders. With this mindset, sometimes more deserving and well-knowledgeable individuals are overlooked, and they are facing difficulties in acquiring jobs. So, the most authentic solution is that the government should recruit candidates on a merit basis regardless of their ages to thrive the country in the right direction and with equality.

In conclusion, one ought not to be deprived of occupation due to their age factor; however, society's thinking and strictly merit-based recruitments should be followed to avoid inequality and for the better development of the country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding 'society's standard' is mentioned but not fully explored with specific evidence. The example of political leaders is relevant but could be better linked to the broader job market. The solutions provided, such as 'spreading awareness' and 'merit-based recruitment', are logical but remain general. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete examples or deeper analysis of why these specific measures would be effective in a professional context.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'For instance', 'Building on this', and 'In conclusion', which help the reader follow your argument. However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is slightly abrupt. Additionally, some sentences are a bit disjointed, such as the fragment 'who are running the administration of countries' in the second paragraph, which disrupts the flow of the sentence. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'expertise', 'administration', and 'deprived'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'a unfit' (should be 'unfit') and 'well-knowledgeable' (which is not standard English). The phrase 'complex thing' is also quite informal and imprecise. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that your word forms are accurate. Expanding your range to include more topic-specific vocabulary related to employment and ageism would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. However, there are several grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow, such as the sentence fragment in the second paragraph and the incorrect article usage ('a unfit'). There are also minor punctuation and syntax issues, such as 'to thrive the country' (should be 'to help the country thrive'). While your meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and sentence completeness will help improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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