Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Older adults above the age of fifty often struggle to secure good employment in some nations. The main reasons for this scenario is the decline in physical health, and mental capacity of older people and also, companies prefer new workers with updated qualifications and knowledge. It can be solved by giving them works of consultation as they have a lot of experiences.

For the reasons, all type of workplaces need young people with good health and dedication. The individuals with the good health can suffer the heavy workload and stress which cannot be done by people after transitioning to elderhood. In addition, firms prefer new candidates because they have the knowledge to cope with newer world, which also help to gain more profits. For instance, once KFC started to give jobs to older people but it resulted in failures including late deliveries and bad taste. This happened because they lack health to work faster and efficiently.

In order to fix this issue, many steps can be taken. These people should be given job opportunities of teaching and consultation which allow them to use their experience and do not require much effort. For example, Malaysia offered consultation and small teaching jobs to older people and it resulted in a great success. People earned through their experience in various fields and helped many companies and individuals to grow and develop.

In conclusion, it is a major issue and should be controlled by both Governments and NGOs in order to develop a good nation. It also results in decline of poverty.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The argument regarding physical health is a generalization that borders on ageism and lacks nuance. The example provided about KFC is anecdotal and not particularly convincing or relevant to the broader labor market. While the position is clear, the ideas could be extended further with more sophisticated reasoning. The conclusion is brief and introduces a new point about poverty that was not previously discussed, which slightly weakens the overall task response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. There is a logical progression from the problem to the causes and then to the solutions. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'In addition', 'For instance', 'In order to'). Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. For example, the link between the KFC example and the broader argument about 'newer world' knowledge is not fully articulated, making the flow of ideas feel slightly disjointed in the second paragraph.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are some awkward collocations, such as 'transitioning to elderhood' and 'do not require much effort'. The student relies on basic vocabulary like 'good jobs', 'new workers', and 'bad taste'. While the meaning is clear throughout, there is little evidence of less common lexical items or idiomatic language. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise terminology related to employment, such as 'age discrimination', 'professional expertise', or 'technological proficiency'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, such as 'The main reasons for this scenario is' (should be 'are'). There are also issues with article usage ('the good health') and awkward phrasing ('all type of workplaces'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency. To reach a higher band, the student needs to demonstrate more consistent control over complex structures and reduce the frequency of basic grammatical slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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