Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this recent era, in range of nations it is quite tough to get a job for the individuals whose age is more than 50, despite their experience. I cognitively believed that there are some cause for this problem which can be mitigate through several steps, which will be streamlined in the subsequent paragraphs.

There are some cause for this trend. First and foremost is Age discrimination. To detail it out, some employs assume that the older people are less productive so for that reason they prefer young candidates which are energetic and adaptable to every situation. Secondly, lack of modern skills. To put it in other words, older people are not up-to-date with modern skills in modern workplace. Lastly, expecting higher salary. To elaborate it, as it is inevitable that older individual has better experience so they are asking for higher salary packages which can be cure by taking young employ with low salary package.

Paradoxically, to cure this cause there are range of solutions. Firstly, stronger age discrimination, policy makers should take strict action against the organization who follow this trend and take heavy fines, so it can't be repeated. Furthermore, government should provide funding training for this older ones who have lack of skills and give them training to learn new skills. Finally, for the salary issue, company should make proper salary structure contract for every employs so in future, this problem cannot be arise.

Conclusively, although there range of cause for this notion such as age discrimination, lack of skills and higher salary, but they have solution like strict laws , funded training and flexible contract.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the point regarding 'lack of modern skills' is mentioned but not explained with sufficient depth or specific examples. The ideas are relevant, but the explanation remains at a basic level, which limits the score. The position is clear throughout, but the lack of detailed supporting evidence prevents it from reaching a higher band. To improve, you should expand on your points by providing concrete examples or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your arguments more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'Secondly', and 'Furthermore' to link your points. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, there are instances where the flow is slightly hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'To detail it out' or 'To put it in other words'. While the overall structure is coherent, the transitions between sentences could be more sophisticated to improve the flow and readability of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'cognitively believed', 'cure by taking young employ', and 'this problem cannot be arise'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly unclear. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical form and context. Avoid over-relying on basic transition phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('older individual has', 'this problem cannot be arise') and incorrect word forms ('some employs' instead of 'employers', 'the older ones who have lack of skills'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, pay closer attention to pluralization, verb tenses, and the correct usage of articles and prepositions. Proofreading for basic grammatical consistency is essential.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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