Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.
What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
It is undeniable fact that in some countries it can be very impossible for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs despite their experience. wreaks havoc not only in developed nations, while also in third world countries. The obstacles for this are health issue and high population, whereas there are ways to curtail this issue.
One of the main causes of the problem is that health issue this is due to the fact that some people has good knowledge and experience but not good health and energy they all time get stress so they no work properly. another reason that has been witnessed of this problem is high population. to elaborate
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under the required word count of 250 words, reaching only 114 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While you identify two causes (health issues and population size), the development is extremely limited and the essay ends abruptly mid-sentence. The prompt asks for both causes and measures to solve the problem, but the response fails to provide any meaningful solutions, leaving the second part of the task entirely unaddressed. To improve, you must ensure you fully develop each point with examples and provide a balanced response that covers all parts of the prompt while meeting the minimum length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay lacks a clear structure. While there is an attempt at an introduction and a body paragraph, the abrupt ending and the lack of a conclusion make the overall progression unclear. Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused, such as the phrase 'wreaks havoc not only in developed nations, while also in third world countries,' which is grammatically disjointed and fails to link ideas logically. Paragraphing is not used effectively, and the text feels like a collection of fragmented thoughts rather than a cohesive argument. You need to use transition words like 'furthermore,' 'consequently,' or 'in addition' to connect your ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive. You rely on simple terms like 'good jobs,' 'good knowledge,' and 'good health,' which limits the precision of your writing. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'very impossible' (which is redundant and incorrect) and 'all time get stress.' To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more academic vocabulary and collocations appropriate for the topic, such as 'age discrimination,' 'professional aptitude,' or 'mitigate the impact.' Expanding your range of vocabulary will help you express your ideas with greater clarity and sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('some people has'), sentence fragments ('to elaborate'), and incorrect sentence construction ('wreaks havoc not only in developed nations, while also in third world countries'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing capital letters at the start of sentences and a lack of proper sentence boundaries. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct subject-verb agreement and the proper use of conjunctions, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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