Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many countries, it can be difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. This situation creates several problems such as financial pressure on older people and loss of productivity in the workplace. However, effective measures such as stronger employment policies and financial support schemes could help address this problem.

One of the major problems of this situation is financial pressure faced by older people. This is because if a person over 50 cannot find a good job, they may accept a lower-paid job. For example, if an older person gets a lower-level job such as a clerical job, they may have a lower salary and create financial pressure on them. Another serious issue is a loss of experienced professionals in the workplace. If an experienced professional is replaced by an inexperienced employee then the fresher employee may not have valuable knowledge to deal with complex workplace challenges.

To solve these problems, the government should introduce stronger policies to prevent age discrimination during recruitment. If companies are encouraged to offer suitable positions to older people, these workers may get access to well-paid employment. In addition, authorities should provide financial assistance to people over 50 through government schemes. For instance, the government should provide financial support to unemployed people over 50 while they search for suitable jobs.

In conclusion, this situation might create problems such as loss of productivity and financial pressure. However, these issues can be addressed by stronger recruitment policies and financial support schemes. If both the government and companies make efforts then people over 50 may get good jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as financial pressure and the loss of experienced professionals, and the proposed solutions of policy changes and government schemes are logical. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of why older people face financial pressure is repetitive, and the discussion on 'loss of productivity' could have been expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis. To reach a higher band, you should aim to extend your arguments further by exploring the 'why' and 'how' in greater detail, rather than simply stating the points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use cohesive devices such as 'For example,' 'In addition,' and 'In conclusion' effectively. However, the transitions between some sentences are slightly mechanical, and the referencing could be more varied to improve the flow. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall structure supports the argument well, making the text coherent throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'recruitment,' 'productivity,' and 'financial assistance' correctly. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and variety required for higher bands. There is some repetition of basic phrases, such as 'financial pressure' and 'good jobs.' To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and less common lexical items related to the topic of employment and aging populations, which would demonstrate a more flexible and fluent command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You use conditional sentences ('If a person... they may...') and relative clauses effectively. While there are very few grammatical errors, the range of complex structures is somewhat limited. Most sentences are straightforward, and there is a lack of more advanced grammatical features such as passive voice or varied subordinate clauses that would elevate the writing. The punctuation is generally accurate, and the errors present do not impede communication, but increasing the variety of your sentence patterns would be beneficial.

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