Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely acknowledged that, in some nations that senior citizens face the challenges to find the white collar job even if they have good experience. In this essay first first i will discuss about this issue after deduce some possible solutions. There are some reasons associated with this. First and foremost, that people who are over the 50 they face problem because some companies have physical task, which younger people are better perform than that generation. Secondly, in this modern era, most works done by computer and technology and senior employees are not familiar with modern equipment. In addition, another reason is sedentary jobs which is crucial point because this such jobs check the the worker patience level , so long working hours may cause boredom and face some health issue for not any physical moments However, there are some possible solutions to tackle this issue. To commence with, employers should encourage their experienced old staff and always keep motivated to provide some refreshments , while working and give some short breaks to feel relax it also help senior employers to focus on their work more and enhance the productivity . Moreover, the government should open more jobs for senior citizens because they have more experience and better communication skill which very beneficial for those jobs which are talk with customers essential. Apart from that, the government and big companies also provide their more experience employees good health care opportunities and held some family vacations which also assist raise the standard of the of mases. In concul

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation regarding 'sedentary jobs' and 'boredom' is not clearly linked to why employers might avoid hiring older workers. The essay lacks a clear conclusion, as it cuts off abruptly at 'In concul'. While the main points are relevant, they are not fully extended or supported with specific examples or evidence, which limits the depth of the response. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and provides a more detailed explanation of the logic behind the arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'Secondly', and 'However', which help to structure the text. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the link between sedentary work and hiring practices is unclear. Paragraphing is present, but the abrupt ending significantly impacts the overall coherence of the piece. Referencing is occasionally repetitive, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph concludes logically before moving to the next point.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'physical moments' instead of 'physical movement' and 'talk with customers essential'. Some word choices are repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'jobs' and 'experience'. The range is sufficient to convey basic meaning, but there is little evidence of less common lexical items or idiomatic language. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to the workplace and professional development, and try to avoid repeating the same nouns and verbs throughout the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'in some nations that senior citizens face the challenges to find', 'which younger people are better perform than that generation', and 'the worker patience level'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentences being run-on or missing necessary articles. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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