Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In specific regions it can be huge problem for individuals over the age of 50 to get better opportunities despite their experience.

Firstly, In my opinion i am agree with the statement that it is very problematic to find a occupation over the age of 50 because i am country an average retirement age is 60 years therefore i think people consider them old and not more energetic like young people i think companies should allow qouta for 50 plus moreover they can get job easily and earn money.

Secondly, In my reckon instituions should give chance to the youngster's instead of old because they are more energetic and they can solve many problems at a same time they can do multi tasks and perform well at work place.

Secondly, i have witnessed many examples in my daily life i currently working in banking sector our banking hiring ratio is about to 90 percent of young individuals while there are rare cases and their proposition is just 10 percent out of hundred. At age of 50 people their are limited position and their competition is very immense on one position 50 candidates are giving interviews in my country the age of 50 people often like to do business in contract of job. They do their own business dispite work for others they also earn well then job.

Therefore, from my prospective government and local companies should make some qouto for old people beacuse they are also hardworking and well experienced their hardworking should contribute prosperity in company l.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt (causes and measures), but the development is inconsistent. While you provide some personal observations regarding the banking sector, the arguments are often repetitive and lack depth. For instance, you mention that young people are 'more energetic' and can 'do multi tasks,' but this is not fully supported with clear reasoning. The proposed measures, such as government quotas, are mentioned but not explored in terms of how they would function or their potential impact. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea supported by clear evidence or logical explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by errors in cohesion. You use transition words like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' (used twice), but these are often followed by ideas that do not logically follow the previous sentence. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the connection between sentences is often mechanical. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'consequently,' 'furthermore,' 'in contrast') and ensure that each sentence builds logically upon the one before it to create a smooth progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'In my reckon' instead of 'In my opinion' or 'proposition' instead of 'proportion.' Phrases like 'not more energetic' and 'do business in contract of job' are awkward and hinder clarity. To reach a higher band, you should work on using more precise academic vocabulary and collocations. Focus on learning how to use words in their correct context rather than relying on basic, informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'i am agree'), punctuation (e.g., missing commas, incorrect apostrophes in 'youngster's'), and sentence structure (e.g., run-on sentences). You rely heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practice using punctuation correctly to separate distinct ideas.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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