Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.
What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In this modern world, jobs plays an indispensable role in everyone life.However ,it is very diffult for individual over the age of 50 to get good jobs , despite their experience. The reason and solution will be explained in the upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with,the individual become physical weak. To explain it,when people are over the 50, they cannot get a good job . Because this get alot of physical issues like back pain,weakness,bp high For example, In , India there are many people under 50 who get diffulties to get good job because the people look very old .that is why people didn't recognise the individual that he she does a work in there entire life . Thus, this become bore and get irritated easy.
Paradoxically, the government should provide gym for everyone. To elaborate it,Once government provide a gym to everyone,they physical and mental become Regardless of ,people can get good jobs,while seeing fitness of the people under 50 .For example, In canade,there are many people who work under 50 and they are very good and happy. Hence, they cannot finance depend on someone.
To conclude, although there are many problems when people who after 50 they become physical weak , whereas ti can overcome why providing gym for everyone
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 212 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay attempts to address the causes and solutions, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack logical depth. For instance, the suggestion that the government should provide gyms to solve age-related unemployment is not well-reasoned or supported by relevant evidence. The examples provided, such as the reference to India and Canada, are confusing and do not clearly illustrate the points being made. Consequently, the response only partially addresses the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often unclear. Cohesive devices are used in a mechanical and sometimes incorrect manner, such as 'To commence with' and 'Paradoxically', which do not fit the context of the arguments. Referencing is frequently ambiguous, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's train of thought. The lack of clear logical links between the causes of unemployment and the proposed solutions results in a disjointed structure that hinders the overall flow of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, which restricts the ability to convey complex ideas. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'physical weak' instead of 'physically weak' and 'finance depend on someone'. Basic vocabulary is used throughout, and the attempt to use more sophisticated terms often leads to inaccuracies that can cause some difficulty for the reader. The spelling errors, such as 'diffulties' and 'canade', further detract from the quality of the writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences are often faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('jobs plays'), missing articles, and incorrect punctuation. For example, 'the individual become physical weak' and 'they physical and mental become' are grammatically incorrect and impede clarity. These frequent errors, combined with a lack of control over sentence structure, indicate a limited range of grammatical competence.
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