Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In a few countries experienced people above the age of 50 find it extremely hard to get promising jobs offers. This could be because of health concerns, lesser productivity and lack of advancements in technology knowledge. The same could be tackled by keeping healthy lifestyle and updated know how of technology advancement.

One of the major concerns is lifestyle. A research conducted by Indianian University is 70 percent of people consume more of processed food or have an unhealthy eating lifestyle this is a major cause of obesity and cardio illness. A research shows evidence that 40 percent suffered obesity and 30 percent people could not work because of heart ailments. This lead to the second issue of people where their productivity at work reduced drastically. Asian School of Science survey shows that 38 percent of people at work with poor productivity declining companies output and profits. Lastly, lack of knowledge on modern equipment and advancement in technology and trying to cope up with output at work increase high amount of stress levels.

However, there are ways that these issues can be tackled one such way is regular work out of a minimum 30 minutes everyday helps in maintaining healthy lifestyle, for example, a cardio workout. Furthermore, attending various workshops, seminars and conference help in keeping up-to-date information in the

advancement of technology. For examples, new ways

for making bulk bread process which require modern

equipment. these training session help to be in par

with whats happening in the world around us.

A balance of these factors can help in greater job prospects even over the age of 50. Experienced people bring in knowledge and expierence that increases companies profits and also helps to sustains jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention health and technology as causes, the supporting evidence—such as the 'Indianian University' research—is presented in a way that feels slightly disconnected from the core argument about employment. The solutions provided are relevant but could be expanded upon with more depth. To reach a higher band, ensure that your examples directly link back to the specific challenges faced by workers over 50 in the job market, rather than focusing primarily on general health statistics.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'Lastly' to link points. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the connection between ideas is weak, such as the transition between the health statistics and the productivity issue. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or lack proper punctuation, which disrupts the logical flow. Improving the use of referencing and transition phrases would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cardio illness', 'drastically', and 'up-to-date'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'keeping healthy lifestyle' (needs an article) and 'in par with' (should be 'on par with'). Some vocabulary is repetitive, and the attempt to use more sophisticated terms is occasionally hindered by incorrect collocations. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that your word choices are precise and natural in an academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('a research', 'the advancement'), subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. For example, 'A research conducted by Indianian University is 70 percent...' is grammatically incorrect. There are also run-on sentences and missing prepositions. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed correctly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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