Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In few countries , people over the age of 50 face difficulties in finding good employment despite of valuable skills and experience . It can be happen due to invention of new technologies or at some extent due to fitness of elders . This essay will discuss the main issues behind this issues and suggest several measures that could help addressed it.

On the one hand , due to invention of various technologies , companies are neglecting the individuals with extensive work experience . Because companies think that elders are less adaptable to technology and they can not perform their duties on the basis of experience that they have. Additionally , youngsters with some knowledge with updated softwares and technology can get employment easily because employers prefer young people with low salaries .

To overcome this problems , government and organizations should offer digital skills programs where elder can get knowledge about technology . It might be beneficial for elders having extensive work experience because after learning about technology , they can show good performance in the companies where they are working . Furthermore , authorities should enforce laws to promote equal employment opportunities . Employers should focus mainly on work experience despite of age when hiring.

In conclusion , older people are struggling more to secure good jobs due to rapid change in technologies . But this issue can be reduce by giving training older people and enforce laws to ensure fair hiring base on work related skills not on age of anyone .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes (technological change and employer bias) and solutions (digital training and anti-discrimination laws). The ideas are relevant, but they are somewhat under-developed. For instance, the point about 'fitness of elders' is mentioned in the introduction but never expanded upon in the body paragraphs. The position is clear, but the development lacks depth and specific examples, which limits the score. To improve, you should provide more detailed explanations or concrete examples of how these measures have been implemented in real-world scenarios.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand,' 'Additionally,' and 'Furthermore,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the repetitive use of 'this issues' and 'this problems.' The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You use some relevant terms like 'extensive work experience' and 'equal employment opportunities.' However, there are several word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'can be happen' (should be 'can happen'), 'despite of' (should be 'despite' or 'in spite of'), and 'base on' (should be 'based on'). To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary and ensuring correct prepositional usage.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the invention of new technologies'), subject-verb agreement ('elder can get'), and prepositional phrases ('despite of'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. You should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically regarding article usage and common prepositional errors.

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