Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It had become a serious issue in some states, individuals those are at the age of 50 do not

get impressive jobs, if they have experience.

Employments are essential for the survival of mankind in a community.

The provided essay illustrates the reasons for given problem.

First of all, in every develop country merit is very important in advanced fields. Companies and departments demand high percentage number in previous degree of candidates. Most of students fail due to merit. From my perception, there should be chance of job for average pupils who have 92 to 95 percent results in their required field.

Secondly, I personally noticed that when jobs and employments are open in a province, there are 500 candidates for 10 seats. All departments get benefit from that situation by taking registration fee. Consequently, people become disheartened and shift to local business. Government should adopt proper settings to solve this difficulty.

Thirdly, salary is also prime point for good job. In private and local schools' teachers spend their all efforts to make bright the future of students and in return they attain low pay. For this reason, they leave their jobs for better opportunity. Moreover, schools head authority should take step to give a handsome amount to their employs.

At the last, the major issue is poor system managements. Those who were very old, occupied vacancies for a lot of time. They do not provide chance to young generation. There should be short span for retirement in fields. Furthermore, we should check the new talent by giving space to other.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but struggles with relevance and focus. The task asks about the difficulties faced by people over 50, yet the essay shifts to discussing academic merit, student grades, and general unemployment issues. The argument regarding 'old people occupying vacancies' is relevant, but it is underdeveloped and contradicts the premise that experienced people struggle to find work. The ideas are often disjointed and do not directly answer the prompt's focus on the age-related barriers for experienced workers. To improve, ensure every paragraph directly relates to the specific challenges faced by the over-50 demographic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay uses basic cohesive devices like 'First of all', 'Secondly', and 'Thirdly', which provides a mechanical structure. However, the progression of ideas is often illogical. For instance, the transition from discussing academic merit to salary issues and then to retirement ages lacks a clear, unified argument. Paragraphing is present, but the internal logic within paragraphs is weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's line of reasoning. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the vague use of 'that situation' or 'that difficulty'.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. Phrases like 'impressive jobs', 'proper settings', and 'poor system managements' are imprecise and do not demonstrate the range required for higher bands. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'develop country' instead of 'developed country' and 'handsome amount' used in a slightly unnatural context. The range is sufficient to convey basic meaning, but it lacks the flexibility and precision needed to discuss complex social issues effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('individuals those are', 'teachers spend their all efforts'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing ('make bright the future of students'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the text from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and ensuring correct verb forms and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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