Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Retired persons are the important asset of a nation. However, it is widely observed in some countries that aged individuals above the age of 50 are unemployed although they possess great experiences. This essay will explain the reasons behind and solutions to resolve this issue.

There are several reasons due to which elderly people are not getting jobs in some countries. Firstly, most countries offer job opportunities to the teenagers because they are more active, full of zeal and perform the tasks with greater pace.

In addition, youngsters are physically more fit and less likely to be suffered in diseases than the older ones. Moreover, the teenagers are more productive and can perform better quality and quantity of work. For instance, the China is on top in the business industry because the youngsters are working to support the economy.

Several steps can be taken for the retired individuals to be employed. Firstly, factories and companies should hire elderly people at the designations of Supervisors or managers to train the young staff. They can share their entire life work experiences as a input and improve the output in the form of products. Moreover, elderly people can be hired in different jobs where physical work is not demanding. For instance, the can be hired as security guards in banking sector. Furthermore, the government should take initiatives to provide job opportunities for elderly people so that the can participate to support the economy.

In my conclusion, I am in strong commitment with the idea that although youngsters are more productive mentally and physically fit, elderly people should be provided with the better job opportunities so that they can meet up their rest of the life expenses and support their families as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument that teenagers are more productive is a generalization that lacks nuance, and the example regarding China is not fully explained or linked effectively to the core issue of ageism. The solutions provided are relevant, such as mentorship roles, but they could be expanded with more detail on how these measures would practically overcome the identified barriers. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is supported by more specific, logical evidence rather than broad assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the causes, then to the solutions, and finally the conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'In my conclusion' are used to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as in the sentence 'the can be hired as security guards', where the pronoun usage is faulty. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow, meeting the requirements for a band 6.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'unemployed', 'designations', and 'initiatives'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward word choice, such as 'the teenagers are more productive' (referring to young adults) and 'suffered in diseases' (should be 'suffer from'). To improve, the writer should focus on more precise collocations and a wider variety of academic vocabulary to express complex ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the flow. Examples include 'the China is on top' (incorrect article usage), 'the can be hired' (missing subject), and 'meet up their rest of the life expenses' (unnatural phrasing). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the accuracy of basic grammar, particularly subject-verb agreement and article usage, would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

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