Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely acknowledged that older individuals can face numerous problems to get a reliable jobs after the age of 50 apart from their experience. this essay will articulate the causes and related solutions to mitigate this issue in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, There are a myriad of reasons that why people not prefer to provide jobs to old citizens. the predominant one is physical fitness. To be more precise, some industries prefer to engage active employee into their workplace instead of non active people because it not only boost the production level but also incline the profit. For instance, Survey conducted by the 'The Times Of India' in Japan published that over age people decline the growth of industries nearly 66%.

Furthermore, their are lot of solutions to mitigate this issue but the most suited is by promoting technical industries. In simple words, if authorities promote software firms it leads to boost the demand of workers in the technical area as a result it helps the older people to get a good job without putting any extra efforts into work because online work offer portability. For example, In 2020 after the revolution of technical industries in United States Provide jobs to 70% of old individuals because it can be done with small efforts .

To conclude, Although ,Hardware industries need active people to complete their tasks. However, Technical field is suitable for any kind of age group and also it can be done from any time any ware.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt—causes and solutions—but the development is limited. The ideas, such as 'physical fitness' and 'promoting technical industries,' are relevant but lack depth. The supporting evidence, such as the statistic about Japan and the United States, appears fabricated or lacks credibility, which weakens the argument. To improve, you should provide more logical, real-world explanations for why ageism exists in the workplace and offer more nuanced solutions beyond just 'technical industries.' The conclusion is also quite brief and does not effectively summarize the main points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'To commence with' is a non-standard opening, and the transition 'Although... However' in the conclusion is grammatically incorrect and disrupts the flow. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the logical progression between sentences is occasionally disjointed. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'non active people' instead of 'sedentary workers' or 'less physically capable individuals.' Additionally, there are errors in word choice, such as 'incline the profit' (should be 'increase profits') and 'any ware' (should be 'anywhere'). The range is limited to basic terms, and the lack of sophisticated collocations prevents a higher score. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic and topic-specific terminology is essential.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('Survey conducted... published that over age people decline'), article usage ('the United States' is correct, but 'the revolution of technical industries' is awkward), and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain errors in basic syntax, such as 'There are a myriad of reasons that why people not prefer to provide jobs.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the misuse of commas. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction before attempting more complex structures.

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