Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is an ongoing debate about the difficulties for the people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite having experience of many years.I would discuss about the causes and solutions about this problem by giving relevant examples in this essay.

Firstly, In my opinion the main cause of this problem is advancement in technology.Modern children or employees are apt in working with gadgets while the old ones feel a little insecure in dealing with the same. For example:-students of 90s had not been aware of any kind of social media platform during their schooling period, but today's students are so keen in using online sources for various purposes such as doing homework, making assignments, making friends etc.

Secondly, Age factor is the another reason for this escalating problem. In instance, science also suggests that the working efficiency of an individual declines after the age of 40.So, employees prefer to work with young mindsets over old ones despite their experience.Also, with time the working methods, working hours, responsibilities, liabilities have changed completely so, old people find it difficult to manage in new environment.Every lock has a key in the same way every problem has a solution,so in this problem government and the companies should work in cooperation for the welfare of old working community.

In conclusion, Despite advancements in working systems, we should never forget that if experience and knowledge working together , this could help an organization to touch clouds in the sky.Old people are the asset of knowledge and experience so by the accurate implementation of law and order, government and companies could hire them for the welfare of themselves and organizations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding technology is a bit generic, and the claim that efficiency declines after 40 is an over-generalisation that lacks nuanced support. While the position is clear, the solutions offered—'government and companies should work in cooperation'—are vague and lack concrete examples of how this might be implemented (e.g., tax incentives or retraining programs). To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed explanations and specific, real-world examples to support your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally weak. For example, the transition 'In instance' is non-standard and awkward. Additionally, the final paragraph lacks a strong concluding thought that synthesises the points made. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on some repetitive or slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'touch clouds in the sky' and 'apt in working with gadgets'. There are also some minor errors in word choice, such as 'In instance' instead of 'For instance'. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and topic-specific vocabulary related to employment and demographics, while avoiding overly informal or metaphorical expressions that do not fit the academic tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally distract the reader. For example, there are missing spaces after commas and periods, and issues with article usage (e.g., 'the old ones', 'the age of 40'). Some sentences are slightly fragmented or lack proper subject-verb agreement, such as 'if experience and knowledge working together'. While these errors do not prevent the meaning from being understood, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focusing on proofreading for basic punctuation and article usage will help.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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