Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The issue is, in our planet; there are many nations, where senior citizens face extreme challenges to persueing better employment at their age, although their previous experties; has become incresingly prevent in recent years. There could be multiple reasons for such a situation and it has certain measures to minimise such consequences. It's significant practically and socially effects discussed in following paragraphs.

One of the primary causes of this issue is above fifty aged people get lower their strength. This occurs maily due to decresing bone density. In bioloically term after some age human bones getting start eliminate their density. As a result, they experincing weekness, becomes more widespread. Another contributing factor is despit to older ones, younger generation have fresh ideas, energy and willingness. This leads to more strength and confidence in particular jobs which is essentially look forward for their officers, further intensifying the problem.

The consequences of this issue are far reaching. That's why they should take precautions Firstly, people above 50 years who want to continue their employment, they should not change their job before retirement. Result in they find difficulties to explore it out which also affect their mentale health. Or else they have to present their strong experinced in their resume with their skills towords specific company, which creats consiquently measures for their career.

In conclusion, challenges caused by their health problems and youth's energy. this causes give rise to serious effects. Therefore effective precautions are required to adress this issues.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt—causes and solutions—but the development is superficial and lacks depth. The arguments regarding physical health and the 'youth's energy' are somewhat stereotypical and under-developed. Furthermore, the response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully develop ideas. The conclusion is brief and does not effectively summarise the main points. To improve, you should provide more specific examples or evidence to support your claims and ensure that your response meets the length requirement to allow for a more comprehensive discussion of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is often hindered by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'One of the primary causes', 'In conclusion'), they are often applied mechanically or incorrectly, such as the confusing sentence structure in the third paragraph: 'Result in they find difficulties to explore it out'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall flow is disrupted by frequent grammatical errors that make it difficult for the reader to follow the argument smoothly. Improved use of linking words and clearer sentence connections are needed.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate, which occasionally impedes communication. There are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'persueing', 'experties', 'incresingly', 'prevent', 'bioloically', 'consiquently') and word choice issues (e.g., 'eliminate their density' instead of 'lose bone density', 'look forward for their officers'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas precisely. To reach a higher band, you must focus on accurate spelling and using more precise collocations related to the topic of employment and aging, rather than relying on basic or misused terminology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('their previous experties; has become'), incorrect sentence structures, and punctuation errors (e.g., unnecessary semicolons and commas). There is a limited range of complex structures, and those that are attempted are often faulty, such as 'In bioloically term after some age human bones getting start eliminate their density.' These errors are frequent and often cause difficulty for the reader. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

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