Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The issue is; in our planet; there are many nations, where senior citizens face extreme challenges to pursuing better employment at their age, although their previous expertise; has become increasingly prevent in recent years. There could be multiple reasons for such a situation and it has certain measures to minimise such consequences. Its significant practical and social effects and measures will be discussed in following paragraphs.

One of the primary causes of this issue is above fifty aged people get lower their strength. This occurs mainly due to decreasing bone density. In biological term after some age human bones getting start eliminate their density. As a result, they experiencing weakness, becomes more widespread. Another contributing factor is that unlike older ones, younger generation have fresh ideas, energy and willingness. This leads to more strength and confidence in particular jobs which is essentially sought for their officers, further intensifying the problem.

The consequences of this issue are far reaching. That's why they should take precautions Firstly, people above 50 years who want to continue their employment, they should not change their job before retirement. Result in they find difficulties to explore it out which also affect their mental health. Or else they have to present their strong experienced in their resume with their skills towards specific company, which create consequently measures for their career.

In conclusion, challenges caused by their health problems and youth's energy. this causes give rise to serious effects. Therefore, effective precautions are required to address these issues.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt—causes and solutions—but the development is inconsistent. While the causes (physical decline and youth preference) are identified, the explanation is somewhat simplistic and relies on generalizations. The proposed solutions are underdeveloped and lack clarity; for instance, the suggestion that people should 'not change their job' is not a practical or comprehensive solution to the systemic issue of ageism. The essay touches on the requirements but lacks the depth and logical extension of ideas expected at higher bands. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not effectively synthesize the arguments presented.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as the phrase 'Result in they find difficulties' or the abrupt transition 'That's why they should take precautions'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical flow. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks the necessary cohesion to link sentences smoothly, which hinders the overall clarity of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'increasingly prevent' (likely meaning prevalent), 'above fifty aged people', and 'eliminate their density'. These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey basic meaning but lacks the flexibility and precision required for higher bands. The student relies on repetitive phrasing and struggles to use academic terminology effectively to discuss the topic of employment and aging.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are issues with sentence structure, such as 'The issue is; in our planet; there are many nations', where punctuation is misused. Subject-verb agreement and word order are also problematic, for example, 'younger generation have fresh ideas' and 'they experiencing weakness'. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, these are often faulty, leading to confusion. The control of basic grammar is inconsistent, and the frequent errors in punctuation and syntax prevent the text from reaching a higher band.

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