Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The issue is that; in on planet; there are many nations, where senior citizens face extreme challenges in pursuing better employment at their age, although their previous expertise; has become increasingly prevalent in recent years. There could be multiple reasons for such a situation and there are certain measures to minimise such consequences. these significant practical and social effects will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

One of the primary causes of this issue is that people over fifty get lower their strength. This occurs mainly due to decreasing bone density. In biological terms after some age human bones start to lose their density. As a result, they experience weakness, which more widespread. Another contributing factor is that unlike older ones, the younger generation have fresh ideas, energy and willingness. This leads to more strength and confidence in particular jobs which is essentially sought for their employers, further intensifying the problem.

The consequences of this issue are far-reaching. That's why they should take precautions Firstly, people above 50 years who want to continue their employment, they should not change their job before retirement. As a Result they find difficulties to explore it out which also affect their mental health. Or else they have to present their strong experience in their resume with their skills towards specific company, which create consequently measures for their career.

In conclusion, challenges caused by their health problems and youth's energy. these causes give rise to serious effects. Therefore, effective precautions are required to address these issues.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt—causes and solutions—but the development is limited. The causes (physical decline and youth energy) are mentioned but lack depth or supporting evidence. The solutions provided are somewhat confusing; for instance, the advice to 'not change their job before retirement' is not a practical or realistic measure for the problem of ageism in hiring. The position is clear, but the arguments remain superficial and lack the necessary elaboration to fully satisfy the requirements of the task. To improve, you should provide concrete examples or logical explanations for why these measures would be effective in a real-world context.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and punctuation errors. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'One of the primary causes', 'In conclusion'), they are often applied mechanically or incorrectly. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the third paragraph where the connection between the advice given and the problem of ageism is tenuous. The progression of ideas is hindered by the lack of logical transitions between sentences, making the overall structure feel disjointed rather than cohesive.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and often imprecise. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'get lower their strength' instead of 'experience a decline in physical strength' and 'explore it out' which is not standard English. The range of vocabulary is limited, and the essay relies on repetitive structures. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary related to employment and social issues, rather than relying on general, informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Punctuation is a significant issue, particularly the misuse of semicolons and commas (e.g., 'The issue is that; in on planet;'). There are also errors in sentence structure, such as 'people above 50 years who want to continue their employment, they should not change their job', which contains a redundant subject. While there is an attempt at complex sentences, they are often faulty. You need to focus on basic sentence construction and correct punctuation to ensure your meaning is conveyed clearly.

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