Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Age of the employees after a certain threshold is taken very seriously in some countries despite how much experience they posses in that relevant field or accomplishments they had achieved.

There arises a spectrum of issues in employing people who are well past the age of 50, among which the major issues that comes to light is most of this individual by the age of 50 develop certain diseases or problems which massively influence their professional life such as diabetes, cholesterol leading to unprecedented leaves more than younger people which in turn causes less efficient decision making and delay in desired results. This burns up organizational resources. Secondly, they find it difficult to connect to most of the employees as majority proportion of the workforce lies in the age bracket of 22 to 40 leading to rise of unnecessary problems. Thirdly, which makes a impact and can be sticking to the old working methods technologies are improving and advancing at a exemplary rate however, while majority individuals try to keep pace a proportions of individual stick to their orthodox ways of working making it gruesome for other employees to cooperate leading to delayed or poor results.

However, employing this people can be fruitful as they tend to make up with their experience which they have accumulated over the year. They should be employed in roles which requires supervision taking in account of every individual currently working. Secondly, in roles which requires training new employees while serving as an help desk for those who gets struck with issues which requires people with experience to resolve.

Overall, while this people due to their age may not fully blend with younger groups of people they can make it up for due to their experience and also by becoming a proper instructor or role model for new recruits benefitting the organization in the long run

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The causes are discussed in a single, dense paragraph, while the solutions are presented in a separate, shorter section. The argument regarding health issues is a bit stereotypical and lacks nuance. To reach a higher band, you should provide more balanced development for each point. For example, the suggestion that older workers should be 'help desks' is a good practical idea, but it could be expanded with more detail on how this benefits the company's bottom line or culture.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'Secondly' and 'However' to signal transitions. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing and run-on sentences, such as the long sentence beginning with 'There arises a spectrum of issues...'. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, for instance, 'which makes a impact and can be sticking to the old working methods' is grammatically disjointed and makes the logical connection between the cause and the effect difficult to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'accumulated', 'orthodox', and 'unprecedented'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors that hinder precision, such as 'gruesome for other employees' (which is an incorrect usage of the word) and 'make it up for due to their experience'. Some phrases are repetitive, and the overall control of vocabulary lacks the flexibility required for a higher band. Focusing on collocations—how words naturally pair together—would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('most of this individual... develop'), incorrect pluralization ('this people'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several long, run-on sentences that lack necessary commas or conjunctions to separate distinct thoughts. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher level of accuracy. You should focus on proofreading for basic agreement and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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