Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

in this writing task the question is people can get job very difficult at old ages of 50 rather than their experiences most of the country prefer younger candidates because they think are fresher and energetic their thinking will much better than old people they solve problem in manner way quiet efficiently and give response quickly but it,s beyond the facts the older people have much lots of experiences of their jobs they know how to handle businesses problems how to run organization they handle problems deeply as compared to younger because fresher have no knowledge of work experience but they build yourself with senior people to learn new skills. the main cause of this problem to understand situation and give opportunity to same both younger as well as older people by that way they can collaborate each other to under problems insights they discuss and talk about the things by this way they communicate and learn new skills will help both the hr team considerations should be clear and organize they specified rule to everyone according to their position while instead of give such position on guessing they must know right candidates for right job let suppose if team mangers hire employee for their businesses of sales manger and they look for other people which might not have relevant experience but they think fit for this rule which exactly give conflicts of business which leads failure in future so to understand the knowledge not by only judging or only guessing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by identifying causes (ageism, preference for 'fresh' energy) and suggesting solutions (collaboration, better HR practices). However, the development is weak. The ideas are presented in a stream-of-consciousness style, making it difficult to follow the argument. The response lacks a clear structure, such as an introduction, distinct body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The analysis of why older workers are overlooked is somewhat superficial, and the proposed solutions are vague. To improve, you should structure your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single point, and provide more concrete examples or logical explanations for your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks paragraphing, which is a fundamental requirement for a coherent response. There is no clear logical progression; ideas are linked together in a single block of text, making it difficult for the reader to identify where one point ends and the next begins. Cohesive devices are almost entirely absent, and the few that are used are often misused or placed awkwardly. The lack of punctuation, particularly the absence of full stops to separate sentences, creates a 'run-on' effect that severely hinders the flow of information. You must use clear paragraph breaks and a variety of linking words to guide the reader through your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'good jobs', 'younger candidates', and 'problems'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'manner way quiet efficiently' and 'under problems insights'. These errors occasionally make it difficult to understand your intended meaning. To reach a higher band, you need to expand your vocabulary to include more precise, academic terms related to employment and workplace dynamics. Focus on learning collocations (words that naturally go together) rather than just individual words, and ensure you are using them in the correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical control is weak. The essay consists almost entirely of run-on sentences due to a lack of proper punctuation. There are frequent errors in basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement ('they think are fresher'), article usage, and sentence structure. Complex sentence structures are attempted but are often faulty, leading to confusion. For example, 'they must know right candidates for right job let suppose if team mangers hire employee' is grammatically fragmented. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and using full stops to separate distinct ideas before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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