Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In present world , job is the only thing which can make both ends meet for an average person . Finding a good job after age of 50 is very difficult in some countries . There are many issues behind it but the major cause is the laws of the country made according to health of the people living there and it can be solved by several measures .

There are some countries in the world where the law allows a person to get a good job before reaching the age of 50 . These laws are made according to the health of the residents . There are countries in which there is small number of healthy people above the age of 50 , so the Government makes law accordingly to make sure that an unhealthy person stay away from job . So that the work should be completed with great efficiency by young individuals as happened in a factory in my city in which a 51 year old man added a chemical in a product more then the requirement and it lead to death of 27 individuals which used that product , after examination they found that his blood sugar level was not normal at that time and he did not realized what he was doing .

To solve this problem , the people should become healthy by keeping there diet nutritious and by joining gyms . This will increase the number of fit residents and cause hospitals to empty . It can lead Government to think about the people over age of 50 . Then the experience will be prioritized and laws will allow them to get good jobs .

The process is simple but needs consistency to stay fit and it can cause rules to change to create jobs for the people over age of 50 . The only need is to maintain a healthy diet and stay attached with gym .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but relies on a highly questionable and illogical premise—that governments mandate retirement at 50 due to health concerns and that a single factory accident involving a 51-year-old justifies this. This lack of logical development and reliance on a single, extreme anecdote limits the depth of the argument. While the prompt asks for causes and solutions, the 'cause' provided is not a standard or realistic societal issue, which hinders the overall task response. To improve, focus on more common, evidence-based factors such as ageism, rapid technological changes, or salary expectations, and provide more balanced, logical arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is weak. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is mechanical, and the logical flow within the second paragraph is disrupted by the anecdotal example, which feels disconnected from the broader argument. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To solve this problem' and 'The process is simple', but they are somewhat repetitive. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the overall structure lacks the sophisticated linking required for higher bands. Improving the logical connection between sentences would significantly enhance the clarity of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision needed for a higher score. Phrases like 'make both ends meet' are used correctly, but there is a reliance on simple, repetitive language such as 'good job', 'healthy', and 'laws'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'stay attached with gym'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to employment, age discrimination, and policy-making, and avoid repeating the same basic adjectives and verbs throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include missing articles ('the law', 'the Government'), incorrect preposition usage ('attached with gym'), and errors in verb tense and agreement ('he did not realized'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with spaces placed before commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the text from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would help improve the accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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