Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is the a contrary topic to talk about as there are a few countries not allowing people over age 50 to get a good job because they think this as the ultimate age to get retired from the job even after having experience.

I do agree with it somehow as if a person will continue its service for this long there will be shortage of jobs in the market and we cannot utilize the new talent out from the universities having enthuasism and work abilities with a lots of constructive dreams. These can be more valuable to country other than the old knowledge and plenty of experience which can not fulfill the demands of modernization and ever evolving world. However, we can utilize the experience of people over age 50 by offering them the role of coaches who can share their experience with the young people and influence them. By this fusion there will be two benefits one young people with innovative knowledge and understands the emerging demands of the fields can be influenced by the the experienced old people which will make them even better serve to their countries. and the second benefit will be the experience of the old people will be utilized and they won't have to live as unemployed.

For example the football, cricket players of any country get their retirements over age 50 and become coaches of their game boards . Football player Ronaldo and cricket player Shahid Afridi are the best example of it. They took their retirement over age 50 and now they are serving as coaches, or become the part of desicsion boards of the game as serving their countries with their vast experience in the field.

In conclusion, people over age 50 have limited energy resources which can only be covered with hiring new young people. Who those work through out their career will find the place back in honouray positions but who those do have career gaps can not have good jobs but some side jobs for barely meeting their living expenses.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes and solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The argument that older workers lack the ability to meet 'modernization' demands is a strong point, but it is presented as a generalization that could be more nuanced. The examples provided, such as Ronaldo and Afridi, are relevant but slightly inaccurate in their application, as these individuals are elite athletes whose career trajectories differ significantly from the general workforce. The conclusion introduces new, somewhat confusing information about 'honorary positions' and 'side jobs' that was not previously discussed, which weakens the overall coherence of the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is sometimes mechanical. While cohesive devices like 'However' and 'For example' are used, the transition between the problem and the proposed solution is abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the phrase 'Who those work through out their career' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the logical progression of the conclusion. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved to ensure that each sentence builds logically upon the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there is a lack of precision and some noticeable errors. Phrases like 'contrary topic' and 'ultimate age to get retired' are unnatural. The student attempts to use more complex vocabulary, such as 'enthusiasm' (misspelled as 'enthuasism') and 'modernization', but the collocation is often imprecise. There is also some repetition of basic terms like 'experience' and 'jobs'. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'there will be shortage'), incorrect article usage (e.g., 'the football, cricket players'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'Who those work through out their career'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentences ending abruptly or containing unnecessary spaces before periods. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band score for grammatical accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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