Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Without any iota of doubt, jobs plays an important role in individual's life for survival. In few nations, it is increasingly challenging for individuals over the age of 50 to find suitable jobs, even with their extensive experience. This essay will not just explain causes of this but also give appropriate solution for this.

Apparently, there are a lot of reasons why it is quite hard for elder people to get job, but the major one is that many young residents are getting jobs. To explain it more, nowadays, the level of education is very high and education institutions provide knowledge to students for their future career, which make them capable for getting job in young age. For example, Junior Software Developer, a recent college graduate who writes basic code, fixes small bugs, and learns from senior engineers, this means that these types of knowledge help students to get job in early age and cutout elder people from this.

However, there are also countless solution to solve this issue but but the important one is that, companies should give importance to experience rather than new staff. To justify it more, elder people have a lot of experience in their life because they face many difficulties in their life. Moreover, they actually know how to deal with a rude customer and their problem solving skill is very great. So, if companies start giving important to other skills and experience equally the number of unemployment will decline in elder population. For instance, financial necessity and the need to cover basic living expenses is the most common reason older adults remain in the workforce.

In conclusion, usually younger generation get jobs in early age that is the major reason why elder population is unemployed, but this problem can be solved if industries start giving importance to both experienced staff and new staff equally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing the causes of employment difficulties for older adults and offering potential solutions. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the cause focuses heavily on younger people getting jobs through education, illustrated by the example of a Junior Software Developer, but this explanation is slightly simplistic and lacks broader economic context. The solution is similarly generalized, suggesting companies should simply prioritize experience over new staff. While all parts of the task are covered, the depth of extension places this response comfortably at Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate causes and solutions. However, the use of cohesive devices is frequently mechanical and repetitive, such as the formulaic transition phrases 'To explain it more,' 'To justify it more,' and 'Moreover.' Referencing is also occasionally unclear, as seen in sentences like 'this means that these types of knowledge help students to get job in early age and cutout elder people from this,' which disrupt the smooth progression of ideas. Cohesion is functional, meeting the requirements for a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully communicating everyday concepts and attempting some less common vocabulary such as 'extensive experience' and 'financial necessity.' However, there are notable word choice errors and awkward collocations throughout the text, including 'jobs plays an important role,' 'elder people' instead of 'older people,' 'countless solution,' and 'giving important to' instead of 'importance.' While these errors do not impede overall communication, they prevent the lexical score from reaching the higher bands, aligning best with a Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some variety in structure. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several noticeable errors involving subject-verb agreement ('jobs plays an important role'), missing articles ('to get job', 'in early age'), and punctuation or typographical repetition ('but but'). Complex structures are attempted, but they frequently contain errors, such as run-on sentences and awkward phrasing. Because these errors occur regularly without completely obscuring the meaning, the grammar fits the Band 5.5 descriptor.

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