Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.
What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is undeniable that in many countries, although individuals who are over fifty years old depite their experience, they can not find good jobs for themselves.In this essay, I will discuss the causes of this problem and explain appropriate solutions for them.
To begin with,due to the rise of technology, most companies are equipped with modern devices such as computers.Thus, they prefer to hire young workforces that are familiar with modern tools.So, organizations believe that old people can not work efficiently as many as young ones and this is a great reason for unemployment.For instance, one of my colleagues was fired because she was 55 years old and did not know how to use a new GPS device in our company.To solve this issue,It is better to design relevant programs to teach workers the structure of new tools.
Secondly,in todays world, crowd who are more than fifty years old, are considered retired and governments allocate budgets to them as pensions.It is believed that they should relax and enjoy life and let young workers earn money.It is clear that because of overpopulation in many countries, there are few job opportunities for job seekers.So, young workforces are the first priority.For example, in Iran, the number of peopleis increasing nowadays and many adolescents are unemployed.One of the best solutions for this problem is hiring young people instead of retired ones and old people get retirement salaries to spend their lives.
In conclusion,there are some reasons why finding jobs for elder people is problematic.The first one is lack of knowledge and the second one is related to the importance of retirement.but we can solve them with the suitable methods that I mentioned at the end of each paragraph.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, identifying causes (technological advancement and retirement norms) and proposing corresponding solutions (training programs and prioritizing youth employment alongside state pensions). However, the development of ideas leans towards generalization, and the second body paragraph contains slightly contradictory logic regarding the inevitability of retirement versus the plight of job seekers. Examples are provided, such as the colleague fired over GPS usage and the situation in Iran, which help support the arguments. The position is clear throughout the essay, meeting the main requirements of Band 6 where all parts are addressed, although some ideas remain somewhat underdeveloped.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is generally coherent with a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'To begin with', 'For instance', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion', though some are a bit mechanical or repetitive. Referencing is generally clear, but mechanical formatting issues (such as missing spaces after punctuation marks throughout the text) slightly disrupt the flow and affect the cohesive structure. Overall organisation is adequate for a Band 6 score, providing a logical framework despite minor mechanical faults.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'unemployment', 'overpopulation', and 'opportunities'. However, there are notable limitations and word-choice errors, such as 'workforces' used in the plural, 'crowd who are more than fifty years old', and 'retirement salaries' instead of pensions. Spelling and word formation errors also appear, including 'depite' instead of 'despite' and 'todays' lacking an apostrophe. These errors do not seriously impede communication, placing the vocabulary performance comfortably within the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range, solidifying a Band 6 score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent punctuation and spacing errors (e.g., missing spaces after commas and periods), as well as structural slips like 'they can not find good jobs for themselves.In this essay' and 'old people can not work efficiently as many as young ones'. Subject-verb agreement and article usage also show occasional lapses, such as 'the number of peopleis increasing'. While complex structures are attempted, they are frequently accompanied by errors that cause some minor friction for the reader, aligning with the Band 5 descriptor.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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