Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Presently, the job market for individuals above 50 have gone quite competitve, despite having a respectable amount of experience landing a job have been difficult. Well there are multiple reasons causing such problems, the most salient one through my prespective is competitiveness. However, there are some measures if implemented efficiently can alleviate the situation; one being creating a quota for elder citizens. Lets began with the cause of it, as mentioned above competitiveness have sky rocketed since the beginning of 2000 people are migrating more towards jobs rather than business another effect of this migration is the urbanization of main cities, industries like Finance and Computer Science have become oversaturated consequently only the top candidates are selected. Another reason contributing to this conundrum is that young people are working more than ever thus taking away the jobs meant for older people, other factors like nepotism and legacy has also effected the market although these causes are not new but pairing it with other factors have given detrimental results. On the other side we have some measures that can reduce such dilemmas. The government plays a crucial role in it; they can set a quota for old citizens in every industry by making laws in there favour, futhermore, government should provide a monthly stipend to these citizens and the income tax on their jobs shall be reduced while they can also set organizations which employ them. Taking all the argument into account and after scrutnising the evidence i can sum up to the conclusion that the Administration needs to be held accountable for it and they should further look into the situation to find solutions to the dilemma as soon as possible.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both causes, such as market competitiveness and youth employment, and measures, such as quotas and stipends. However, the development of ideas remains somewhat superficial and lacks concrete examples or detailed elaboration. For instance, the mention of industries like 'Finance and Computer Science' is a good start, but it is not supported by specific evidence. The position is clear throughout, but the reasoning tends to generalise. According to the Band 6 descriptors, the task is addressed, but some parts are under-developed. To reach a higher band, the student should expand upon their points with specific, real-world examples rather than listing multiple causes and solutions hastily within a single continuous block of text.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response suffers significantly from poor paragraphing and a lack of clear structural separation between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The text is written as one large block of writing, which severely hinders the logical flow and makes it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'However', 'consequently', and 'Furthermore', referencing is sometimes unclear, and punctuation errors disrupt the cohesive ties. Under the Band 5 descriptors, there is some organisation, but the absence of distinct paragraphing and inadequate mechanical cohesion prevent the text from achieving a higher score. To improve, the student must divide the essay into clear, standard paragraphs for the introduction, causes, measures, and conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating attempts to use less common items such as 'oversaturated', 'conundrum', 'scrutnising', and 'stipend'. However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'competicve' instead of competitive, 'prespective' instead of perspective, 'elder' instead of older, 'futhermore' instead of furthermore, and 'scrutnising' instead of scrutinising. Additionally, collocations are occasionally awkward, such as 'landing a job have been difficult'. Because the lexical errors are noticeable and detract from the quality of the writing, the response fits the Band 5 descriptors well, reflecting a limited but minimally adequate range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the control of grammar and punctuation is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement, such as 'the job market... have gone' and 'competitiveness have sky rocketed'. Punctuation is also poorly handled, with run-on sentences joined improperly by commas rather than full stops or semicolons, such as in the opening sentence and the final conclusion. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from reaching a Band 6. To improve, the writer needs to focus on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly agreement rules, and break long, convoluted sentences into shorter, grammatically sound statements.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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