Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

For the over 50 age people finding jobs is very difficult in many countries., despite their experience. This is will shows that the memoery of the older are very low and the second reason is that over age people are always have health prolems.

To begin with, the older people of brain had complete they faced a lot of problems in their life so there memory is very lows. Therefore if they applied for job or vacancis so they rejected them for expamle: last year the states announce of the NADARA vacanceis the 75% of elder was applied for those job but no one selected because of there age. So the solution is that if people are not choose the over age individual then what will be they do for living eaither they have best skills and experience so if company advertise any job of post so the elder mention first their exprince their in resume reather then age.

Furthermore, If some company do not select by the health of citizen they just know the elder have problem of there fitness, ilness, heart attack etc So therefore they do not addmited By the way the older should need to insurnace by the health company also they should to join the organization as well as they do the medical for there self and attach these all things with their CV. For instance: In america New york the older citizenry when apply for any vacancies so they are attaching their every documents related with their health.

In conclusion, older do not choose by any company to cause of there memory, however they should illustrates to their experince instead of age.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by attempting to identify causes for the employment difficulties faced by older workers, such as perceived memory loss and health problems, and suggests measures like placing experience before age and attaching health certificates. However, the development of these ideas is severely restricted by extremely poor clarity and weak logic. The arguments regarding memory loss are unconvincing and poorly supported, and the examples provided, such as the reference to 'NADARA vacanceis', are confusing and lack clear relevance. Furthermore, the position of the writer is difficult to follow due to disjointed reasoning. Overall, the ideas remain underdeveloped and difficult to parse, fitting the criteria for a band 4.5 to 5.0, where the response addresses the task only partially and ideas are limited and under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

Coherence and cohesion are major weaknesses in this response. Although the text is divided into paragraphs, the internal organization of each paragraph is faulty and lacks a clear progression. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as the repetitive use of 'so', 'therefore', and 'furthermore' to link clauses that lack logical connections. Pronoun referencing is frequently unclear, as seen in phrases like 'what will be they do' and 'if some company do not select by the health of citizen they just know the elder have problem of there fitness'. There is no smooth transition of ideas, and the overall arrangement makes it very difficult for the reader to follow the train of thought. This corresponds to a band 4.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The lexical resource displayed in the essay is basic and heavily restricted. The student repeats fundamental words such as 'older', 'age', 'job', and 'problem' continuously throughout the text. There are numerous word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'addmited' instead of hired, 'over age people', and 'ilness'. Spelling mistakes are also present, including 'memoery', 'vacancis', 'expamle', 'insurnace', and 'illustrates' instead of highlight. While the vocabulary is just about sufficient to convey a rudimentary topic, the frequent errors and lack of sophisticated phrasing prevent the score from reaching a higher band. This is indicative of a band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of poorly constructed simple and complex sentences that are plagued by continuous structural errors. Examples of severe grammatical inaccuracies include 'This is will shows that the memoery of the older are very low' and 'the older people of brain had complete they faced a lot of problems'. There are frequent tense confusions, missing prepositions, incorrect subject-verb agreements, and fragmented clauses that disrupt communication. Punctuation is also misused throughout the essay. Because errors are dense and frequently obscure the meaning of the sentences, the performance aligns with band 4.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.