Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.
What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In Some countries, elderly find difficult to get their desirable jobs while having satisfactory experience.There are many reasons that can attribute to this but we will mention few of them here.
Firstly, the population of young recruits is increasing day by day.They outweigh aged persons in their number as a result they obtain more vacancies. Moreover, nowadays more jobs are IT related where young adults have huge experience, thats why companies are offering more jobs to them.Giving example from my own family, there are a lot of teenagers that are social media influencers and doing jobs for firms and getting good payments whereas no one from middle age is doing such kind of jobs, because they are unable to understand the basics of computers.
Secondly, people over 50 are lacking the energy and enthusiasm that adults have.The fresh graduates are more energitic having prolonged working stamina and complete the tasks more patiently.In addition to this, most of them are unmarried and have least responsibilities of the life leading to greater participation in tasks completion.Lets take an example from my own setup, I observed mostly in my workplace that aged guys lose temper quickly and burst out at their clients on just small issue that can be resolved peacefully.In contrast to this, young men have more patience and power of bearing.
Having said that, elder person has greyed their hairs in learning their life lessons, therefore they should not be ignored whenever there are job oppurtunities.
In a nutshell, the overage employees are not preferred for a an employment due to their declining numbers, lack of basic skills in certain jobs and zero tolerance in some situations.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the task by identifying causes, such as the rise of IT-related jobs and demographic shifts, and suggesting that older workers' experience should be valued. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and relies heavily on broad generalisations and personal anecdotes, such as the mention of teenagers as social media influencers and workplaces where aged guys lose their temper. These examples are informal and lack broader evidence. The position is stated, but the arguments remain underdeveloped in places, fitting the criteria for Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is generally coherent, with an overall structure that moves from causes to personal examples and a brief conclusion. Paragraphing is attempted, though the division could be managed more effectively. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'Secondly', but they are sometimes mechanical or awkwardly placed, as seen with 'thats why' and 'Lets take an example'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and logical progression is disrupted by abrupt transitions between ideas. This level of organisation aligns with a Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items like 'satisfactory experience', 'social media influencers', and 'oppurtunities' (note the spelling error). However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'elder person has greyed their hairs' and 'least responsibilities of the life'. Spelling and word-formation errors occur (e.g., 'energitic', 'oppurtunities'), but they do not seriously impede communication. The lexical range is sufficient for a Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'There are many reasons that can attribute to this...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues throughout the text, including missing articles ('elderly find difficult', 'for a an employment'), incorrect prepositions, and run-on sentences. While these errors do not completely obscure the meaning, they are persistent enough to prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. The control of grammar corresponds to a Band 5.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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