Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is widely believed that over 50 years old people are facing to get better jobs in most contries. I argue that the old age individuals are difficulties that time and its good to retire and a chances for younger people.

In my point of view, the causes of this issue is that the old people after so year weak his mind and they can not work better is compared to aduls.While the over 50 year old employer also some time difficulties in their eye and other types diseases.For instance, blindness and chest pain problem. Moreover in that time it is good to retired that time and give the chance to adults.

In my opinion the solution of that problem is that government app,y some policy for employee to retired after 50 year. And people especially the organisation ower follow that rules. And also give some pension after his retirement . And the young age people jobs demands are high from that policy . Although the poor ratio is low from that policy and inside the country more jobs is growing and the over 50 year employee relax in their life . In many country followed that policy and their bussiness sectors are growing with that policy.

In conclusion, the old age people can not work after some time it is better for their to retire after that and his brain is also not workig as comparec to 18 to 25 year age people. So it is best for that to leave after 50 year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address both parts of the prompt by discussing causes, such as physical decline and age-related health issues, and proposing a solution involving mandatory retirement policies. However, the ideas are underdeveloped and the arguments are somewhat illogical and over-generalized, such as suggesting that people over 50 inevitably suffer from blindness and chest pains and should universally retire to create jobs for younger adults. The student's position is discernible, but the lack of well-supported arguments and relevant examples limits the depth of the response, aligning it with Band 5 descriptors where ideas are limited and partially developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is divided into four paragraphs, showing a basic attempt at structural organisation. However, the progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and lack of logical connections between sentences. Cohesive devices are used minimally and often inaccurately, leading to a disjointed reading experience. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion within paragraphs is weak. For instance, transitional phrases like 'Moreover in that time' or 'In my opinion the solution of that problem' feel mechanical and do not properly guide the reader through a logical flow of arguments. These features place the response firmly in Band 4.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with frequent word-choice and collocation errors that severely strain the reader's comprehension. Examples include phrases like 'over 50 years old people are facing to get better jobs', 'weak his mind', and 'organisation ower'. The student attempts to use some topic-related terms such as 'retirement', 'employer', and 'policy', but their inaccurate deployment reveals a limited and inadequate lexical range. Spelling errors also occur throughout the text. These characteristics are characteristic of a Band 4 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and heavily flawed sentence structures. There are persistent, major errors in basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement ('the causes of this issue is', 'his brain is also not workig'), incorrect verb forms ('are facing to get', 'is good to retired'), and missing prepositions or articles. Complex sentences are rarely attempted successfully, and frequent errors frequently distort the intended meaning for the reader, placing the grammar performance at Band 4.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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