Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.
What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In many countries it can be very challenging for the individuals over the age of 50 to get good employment even they had exprience. This essay will provide the causes of this issue and what measures could be take to slove it and it provides my own opinion and assist the arguments with an examples.
On the one hand there are several reasons that it challenging get a job for the people who is over 50, numerous old people are not that active like and a young individuals and in many work place refused to give a job for people because it hards to do a job in age of 50 even they have an experience new generations people also seek for job at the same moment and the people who is looking for the employee the would choose the active ones over the old one because they want the people who is confident not the who had an experice and also many people believe that age of 50 is a rest time and they should rest because they had already worked hard their life.
On the other hand we should would do something to get a job for the individuals who is over 50 or aged we provide a beneficials jobs as thier experience and the work that has low effort to do for the old people that suits of their activity and we should provide vacancy for the old old people too as thier exprience.
In conclusion old people should must be rest over doing a hard work but the people who want to do a jon as their exprience we should provide them an less effort jobs
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to address both parts of the prompt, identifying causes such as employers preferring younger, more active workers and the perception that older individuals should rest. It also suggests measures like creating suitable jobs with lower physical effort. However, the ideas remain underdeveloped and overly generalised. For instance, statements such as 'numerous old people are not that active like and a young individuals' lack sufficient supporting evidence or elaboration. Furthermore, the introduction outlines a flawed structural plan ('this essay will provide... and it provides my own opinion'), and the conclusion fails to clearly synthesise the main points, resulting in a somewhat confused presentation. Consequently, this performance aligns closely with Band 5 descriptors, where the task is addressed, but the development of ideas is limited and sometimes unclear.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay displays basic organisation into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, overall progression is hindered by a lack of appropriate punctuation and sentence boundaries; the entire text relies heavily on run-on sentences with minimal use of full stops or commas. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, with repetitive structures such as 'the people who is...' acting as faulty links. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal coherence within the paragraphs is weak because ideas flow into one another without logical signposting. Pronoun referencing and substitution are poorly managed, making it difficult to follow the relationships between ideas. These features reflect the characteristics of a Band 4 to 5 range, ultimately settling at Band 4.5 due to the severe disruption caused by poor punctuation and mechanical cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used throughout the essay is basic, repetitive, and restricted to familiar terms such as 'good jobs', 'experience', 'old people', and 'young individuals'. There are frequent errors in word formation and collocation, including 'exprience' instead of experience, 'work place' instead of workplace, and 'beneficials jobs'. Furthermore, word choice is often inappropriate for an academic essay, as seen in phrases like 'rest time' and 'low effort to do'. These lexical inadequacies strain the reader and obscure meaning in several places, fitting the criteria for Band 4.0, where vocabulary is basic and errors frequently impede smooth reading.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text is characterised by a lack of proper punctuation, resulting in exceptionally long run-on sentences that string multiple clauses together without periods. There is a very limited range of accurate structures, and attempts at complex sentences consistently feature major errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the people who is looking', 'many work place refused') and incorrect tense or modal usage ('we should would do something', 'old people should must be rest'). Frequent grammatical errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and distort meaning, which firmly places this response at Band 4.0 for grammar.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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