Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.
What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
In some states, it can be very unlike for persons above the age of 50 to obtain gbetter work, regardless their experience. In this essay i will discuss the the causes, problems and how we can solve these types of issues.
Firstly, ther are lots of causes of at the age of 50 because in this age most of people cannot focus their diet this is the main reason people should get involve a variuous types of dieseases. Then they face a lot of difficulties in this age if 50 plus person need to getting a job firstly they maintain their diet and they built a new skills in ourselves. For instance, at the age of 50 people not used the gym and they only prefer to walk. I think this not enough at this stage if a men a rich they do not work at this stage but other people should prefer to take a job.
Secondly, I think there are lots of example we can see it on this world government should take a lots of opporotunities for older people and the older people take advantages. For example, if the people to touch the age of 50 government take action and they takes lots of opportunities and they give a less work and pay a large amount money I think then the problems resolves in every country.
In my opinion, the government should give pension at the age of 50 taht people cannot work and they live easily and they did not face difficulties.
Overall, at the age the of 50 people did not work at office they only work at home at earn money and they live easily.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to address both parts of the task by discussing the causes of employment difficulties for older adults and suggesting measures such as government intervention and pensions. However, the development of ideas is severely limited and often confusing. For instance, the student digresses into irrelevant health advice, stating that people at 50 'cannot focus their diet' and 'only prefer to walk,' which does not directly explain hiring difficulties or form a coherent argument. Furthermore, the proposed solutions, such as giving older workers 'less work and pay a large amount money,' lack logical depth and practicality. While the prompt is partially addressed, the overall development falls short of Band 5 requirements due to irrelevant digressions and limited explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay attempts a paragraph structure with basic discourse markers like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'In my opinion,' but the overall organization lacks logical progression and clarity. Paragraph breaks are misused, with single-sentence paragraphs appearing at the end. Cohesive devices are frequently repetitive and inaccurate, such as 'In some states, it can be very unlike for persons... regardless their experience.' The relationship between sentences is often obscure, particularly in the body paragraphs where health claims abruptly transition into employment solutions without clear signposting. Referencing is also weak, making it difficult to follow the writer's line of thought. This level of organization aligns with Band 4 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and frequently incorrect. Examples of severe word-choice and collocation errors include 'very unlike' instead of 'unlikely,' 'gbetter work' instead of 'better jobs,' and 'get involve a variuous types of dieseases.' Words are often misused grammatically or semantically, such as 'getting a job firstly they maintain their diet and they built a new skills in ourselves.' While the student attempts some topical words related to employment and government, the high frequency of spelling mistakes ('opporotunities', 'taht', 'dieseases') and basic limitations severely impede communication, placing the response firmly at Band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is extremely weak throughout the response. The text is characterized by run-on sentences, missing punctuation, and fundamental errors in verb tenses, prepositions, and clause structures. For example, the sentence 'For example, if the people to touch the age of 50 government take action and they takes lots of opportunities and they give a less work and pay a large amount money...' demonstrates a total lack of control over complex sentence forms. Simple structures also contain frequent errors, such as 'ther are lots of causes' and 'a men a rich they do not work.' Errors are so frequent that they constantly distort meaning and strain the reader, matching Band 4 criteria.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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