Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In several countries, it becomes challenging for elders to get a good job after the age of 50, regardless of having valuable experience. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons why older people find it more difficult to attain employment and highlight the possible solutions to address this problem.

In this contemporary society, this issue has become a global concern because older people can still make contributions to the workplace. Age discrimination is now considered an essential cause of older people not getting jobs. Many multinational companies offer younger workers jobs instead of older people, as they are more adaptable to new technology and they also work for lower salaries. For instance, if we look at the comparison of a 55-year-old accountant with 25 years of experience applying for a job. The companies will most probably hire the younger one because they consider that youngsters will learn new software easily and stay with the company longer.

As we have seen, technology has become exceptionally advanced in the recent few years. Another significant reason is that older workers may find it difficult to compete with younger people due to massive changes in technology, as some jobs now require advanced digital skills. Employers may prefer candidates who are familiar with the technology. Like, a 50-year-old worker applying for a job that requires advanced software and data analysis skills. If a younger applicant recently completed these courses, an employer might hire the younger one for work even though the older one has experience.

In my opinion, age should not be considered a major factor. Older employees offer experience and professional knowledge that youngsters lack. I believe that companies should focus on enhancing and developing new and effective skills in employees rather than on their ages.

In conclusion, people over 50 face a lot of difficulties while finding jobs, such as age discrimination and changes in technology. I am personally not in favor of hiring people looking at their age. If an employee has experience he should be hired as a worker.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, examining both the causes of older workers struggling to find employment and offering measures or opinions on the issue. In the second and third paragraphs, you clearly identify key causes such as age discrimination, the preference for younger workers due to lower salary expectations, and rapid technological advancements. However, the section on solutions is somewhat underdeveloped. While you mention that companies should focus on skills rather than age, your proposed measures are more of a personal opinion or general philosophy rather than concrete solutions, such as government retraining programs or anti-ageism legislation. To reach a higher band, the solutions section needs further expansion and practical examples. Despite this, your position is clear throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a logical overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing causes, a brief opinion section, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Cohesive devices are present, such as 'In this contemporary society', 'Another significant reason', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader through the text. However, some transitions and referencing feel a bit repetitive or mechanical, particularly the sentence 'For instance, if we look at the comparison of a 55-year-old accountant with 25 years of experience applying for a job. The companies will most probably hire...', which creates a sentence fragment. Improving logical links between sentences would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms such as 'contemporary society', 'global concern', 'multinational companies', and 'digital skills'. There are also attempts to use less common vocabulary like 'adaptable' and 'professional knowledge'. However, there are some awkward lexical choices and minor word-form errors, such as using 'elders' instead of 'older people' or 'older workers' (as 'elders' usually refers to respected senior members of a community or family rather than the labor force). Additionally, phrases like 'looking at their age' are somewhat informal. With more precise word choices and collocation awareness, your lexical score would be higher.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, incorporating conditional clauses ('if we look at the comparison...', 'if an employee has experience he should be hired') and relative clauses. There is good grammatical control in many sentences, but several punctuation and structural errors occur. For example, 'For instance, if we look at the comparison of a 55-year-old accountant with 25 years of experience applying for a job. The companies will most probably hire...' is a fragmented dependent clause treated as a complete sentence. Another minor error is the lack of a comma after introductory dependent clauses or in compound sentences. These errors do not impede communication, but they prevent the essay from achieving a higher band.

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