Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.
What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent years, problem of getting good career options after crossing 50 years even having a professional portfolio has emerged as a pressing global concern. This essay will outline the main causes of this predicament and propose viable solutions to resolve it.
The root cause of this issue lies in competitive work nature. Namely, today's every corporations want their employee to give their personal best, due to which they introduce competitive working environment inside offices. Furthermore, outdated thinking is also the reason which causes this situation. That is to say, many employee working in human resource and recruitment may think old people cannot cope up with young mind and cannot provide any viable approaches due to which they are rejected immediately. For instance, a study found out that offices with least number of aged employee has vast majority of workers doing overtime. Consequently, it causes least productive workflow inside offices where major role are occupied by elderly people.
To tackle this challenge, a multi-faceted approach is required. The most effective measure would be for government to introduce job vacancy specially for aged people only. Additionally, private offices can also contribute by introducing jobs that requires less commitment and pressure. For example, different citizen in Germany can continue working in least competitive jobs even after their retirement. As a result, old peoples are not necessarily dependent on other, financially.
In conclusion, while job scarcity for elderly people holds several difficulties due to modern work culture, decisive action through government and private institutions support will eventually mititgate this issue.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the task by identifying causes, such as the competitive nature of modern corporations and outdated HR perceptions, and proposes viable solutions like government-backed job vacancies and private sector adjustments. The position is clear throughout the essay. However, the ideas could be developed further with deeper elaboration rather than relying on brief supporting statements. For instance, the example about offices with the least number of aged employees lacks precise context. Despite these limitations in full development, the task is adequately addressed in line with Band 6 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay has a clear overall arrangement with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct themes. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Furthermore', 'That is to say', and 'Consequently', but some transitions feel slightly mechanical or awkward, as seen in 'Namely, today's every corporations'. Referencing is generally clear, though occasional lapses in logical progression occur between sentences, placing the response firmly in the Band 6 category for cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'predicament', 'multi-faceted approach', and 'mitigate'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'problem of getting good career options after crossing 50 years even having a professional portfolio', 'competitive work nature', and 'old peoples'. Spelling is generally accurate, though 'mititgate' contains a typo. These errors do not impede communication, reflecting a typical Band 6 lexical profile.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and relative clauses. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'today's every corporations want their employee', 'many employee working... may think old people cannot cope up', and 'jobs that requires less commitment'. Articles and pluralisation are inconsistently handled throughout the text. While these errors occur regularly, they rarely impede overall communication, supporting a Band 5.5 or rounded 6.0 score.
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