Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many regions have a certain age limit qualification for employment which made individuals over 50 to be employed, regardless of their skills. There are few reasons why this happen like productivity speed, and health risk that may affect their work. However, there are some ways to address this matter such as giving them office related work rather than field tasks, and also ways to promote health while being employed.

It has been a common problem for people in their golden years to face age discrimination in seeking employment or even job security. The common reason behind this is the slower pace for some individuals reaching this age especially when working in an industrial area such as factories. They can no longer manage to work for longer hours. Additionally, they are already potential candidates of chronic illness which can eventually hinder their presence at work and may require more utilization of sick leaves which eventually affects the work flow.

On the other hand, there are also few measures that may be considered to avoid these problems that will be beneficial for both employer and employee. People who acquire years of experiences are already experts in their field. Hence, they can be assigned in a supervisory level, or do paper works in offices. With this, they can still be productive without compromising their physical strengths. Furthermore, companies should establish regular check-ups to all employees, and a possible quarterly for staffs above 50 to be able to monitor their health and be guided accordingly.

To conclude, it is not deniable that some will have challenges with acquiring employment at old age due to productivity and health issues. Nevertheless, it should not be a hindrance especially when they have experiences beneficial to the company, and can be assigned in areas that does not require physical efforts. Finally, advocating health can also reduce chances of having chronic problems or be managed easily.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, examining both the causes of older people struggling to find employment, such as productivity speed and health risks, and appropriate measures, such as office-related roles and health monitoring. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For example, the causes are discussed with relevant detail regarding industrial areas, but the solutions are somewhat general and could have been extended with more specific examples. The position is clear throughout the essay and the main parts of the prompt are covered, fitting well within the expectations for a response that addresses the task appropriately while leaving room for deeper extension of ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from the introduction to causes, then to measures, and finally to a conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with each paragraph having a distinct central topic. Cohesive devices are employed to connect ideas, such as 'Additionally', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore'. However, referencing and cohesion can occasionally feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent reliance on 'This' or 'These' to start sentences, which prevents the essay from achieving a fully fluid organizational structure. It successfully meets the core requirements of clear overall cohesion while showing some characteristics of smoother progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'age discrimination', 'chronic illness', and 'supervisory level'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word form, such as writing 'paper works' instead of 'paperwork', 'experiences' as a countable noun in 'years of experiences', and 'staffs' instead of the correct plural 'staff'. Nevertheless, these errors do not impede communication, and the vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the intended meaning clearly, reflecting the characteristics of a competent intermediate lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms throughout the response, successfully constructing multi-clause sentences like 'People who acquire years of experiences are already experts in their field.' There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing prepositions or articles in 'which made individuals over 50 to be employed' and 'do paper works in offices', and awkward phrasing like 'a possible quarterly for staffs above 50'. However, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the arguments without difficulty. The control of grammar shows a solid blend of basic and more ambitious structures.

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