Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.
What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Nowadays, it is very difficult for many people over the age of 50 to find good job or employment, even though they have a valuable work experience. This is mainly because of some employers prefers younger workers and old employees may have outdated skills. Nevertheless, this problem can be resolved by preventing age discrimination and providing training opportunities for the older workers.
In my country, finding suitable employment becomes very difficult for people over the age of 50, even though they have many years of valuable experience and professional knowledge. there are multiple reason for this situation, including age discrimination, rapid changes in technology and some employers prefers the younger worker for employment. This essay will discuss the main causes of this problem and suggest several steps that government and employers can take to improve the employment prospect of older people.
There are several reasons that why it is difficult for older people to find a good one job. The main reason is age discrimination, some employers believes that younger workers are more energetic , adaptable and willing to the less salaries. As a results, they may overlook the older candidates even they these applicants have greater experience and knowledge. Another reason is the rapid development of technology. Some older workers may not know about or less opportunity to learn new software or digital skills, which can make it more difficult for to compete with younger applicants.
There are several measures that could be taken to address this problem.
Firstly, governments should introduce and enforce laws against age discrimination in the workplace. This would encourage employers to judge candidates according to their skills and qualifications rather than their age. Secondly, companies could provide regular training programs to help older employees develop their technological and professional skills. For example, workers could be offered free courses in computer skills, digital communication and other technologies that are commonly used in modern workplaces. These measures would help older people remain competitive in the job market.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the task by identifying causes, such as age discrimination and technological shifts, and proposing relevant measures like anti-discrimination laws and training programs. The position is clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others; for instance, the exploration of technology is slightly superficial and could have been extended with deeper elaboration. The ideas are generally relevant, fulfilling the criteria for a solid performance that demonstrates elements of well-developed reasoning while maintaining some under-developed segments.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear logical organisation, moving from an introduction to causes and then solutions. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. There are repetitive transitional phrases and awkward referencing, such as 'There are several reasons that why it is difficult for older people to find a good one job.' Paragraphing is used, but the structural flow between sentences can occasionally feel disjointed. To reach a higher band, the integration of cohesive devices needs to be smoother, ensuring that progression is completely natural throughout the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.5
The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'professional knowledge', 'age discrimination', and 'modern workplaces'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and word-form errors that reflect a lack of precision, such as 'good job or employment', 'willing to the less salaries', and 'a good one job'. Spelling is generally acceptable, and while these lexical inaccuracies sometimes impede precise communication, the range is sufficient to convey the main arguments adequately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at relative clauses and conditional structures. However, there are frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and agreement, such as 'some employers prefers', 'even they these applicants have', and 'difficult for to compete'. Punctuation is also handled inconsistently, with a missing paragraph break indicator and fragmented sentences hanging without development. These errors reflect a control level that produces some communication difficulty, aligning with a performance where complex structures often contain noticeable slips.
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