Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

finding job over the age of 50 is very crucial problem for the people despite their experience because of new modern technology and advanced knowledge about machines and technology.

firstly very difficult to do job after age of 50 because it's our retirement age and his age we need to stay at home and Relaxo our body but after many experience we can't find the job if we need to do something for ourself because of advanced technology and modern features.

moreover in the age of 50 or over the age of 50 our body does not respond much well then we need to do something hectic and active work.

further more in this generation people are more confident and experience based because of the advance knowledge and education we gain it is very advance so people want an expert person rather than a past thought and the theoretical person who gain knowledge only theory wise.

To illustrate I saw people working after their retirement age his body does not respond well and he is easy exhaust from his work and other hand on new generation people work fastly more than over aging people. but the manager paid equal to both but the old man does not work properly in his retirement a but we have to pay same to all people if we hire a new person replace the old person our national income grow more fastly and our technology fully utilise.

from my view of point experience is matter but the knowledge in the past and in this generation have much more difference we know the knowledge about practical and turtles and advance knowledge so final good job after 50 is very difficult for people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt minimally, attempting to discuss both causes and measures regarding older workers finding jobs. However, the ideas are limited and under-developed, with frequent digressions. For instance, the discussion moves confusingly between retirement ages, physical fatigue, and technology without a clear, logical structure. While a basic position is presented, the arguments lack sufficient explanation and relevant examples, relying instead on repetitive generalisations such as mentioning body response and advanced technology multiple times. To reach a higher standard, the writer needs to clearly separate causes and solutions, providing well-developed, distinct arguments supported by specific examples rather than vague statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The information and ideas are not arranged in a truly coherent way, and overall progression is difficult to follow. Paragraphing is poorly handled, with a massive block of text forming the second half of the essay and a lack of clear introductory and concluding boundaries. Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or repetitive, making transitions between sentences and ideas abrupt and mechanical. For instance, phrases like 'moreover', 'further more', and 'To illustrate' are used clumsily without properly connecting the logical relationships between sentences. To improve, the writer must organise ideas into logical paragraphs with clear topic sentences and use a wider range of cohesive devices accurately to guide the reader smoothly through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, employing a very limited range of words that are frequently misused. Words like 'crucial', 'Relaxo', 'exhaust', and 'turtles' (likely intended to mean theoretical) demonstrate noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation that strain the reader and obscure the meaning. The student attempts to use some less common vocabulary related to technology and employment, but inaccuracies impede clear communication throughout the text. To enhance lexical resource, the writer needs to expand their vocabulary base, focus on correct word forms and parts of speech, and use precise terms suitable for an academic discussion instead of relying on informal or incorrectly applied terminology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The range of grammatical structures is very limited, relying heavily on simple or poorly constructed compound sentences. Errors are frequent across multiple areas, including verb forms and tenses ('he is easy exhaust', 'people gain it is very advance'), missing articles, incorrect plurals, and faulty subject-verb agreement ('his body does not respond well and he is easy exhaust'). Furthermore, punctuation is largely neglected, with run-on sentences lacking proper periods or commas to separate clauses. These frequent grammatical errors cause significant difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning. To progress, the writer must practice forming correct simple and complex sentences, monitor basic agreement and verb tenses carefully, and improve punctuation control.

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